A History of Racism

When your country has slavery for 246 years and then, once slavery ends, still won’t allow former slaves to vote and then when the 15^th Amendment extends voting rights to men of all races (women would still have to wait 50 years) still tries to keep Black men from voting through state laws and poll taxes and literacy tests (which is amazingly hypocritical because between 1740 and 1867 it was illegal to teach slaves to read) and THEN when all those underhanded tactics don’t work, try to intimidate Black people with lynchings and cross-burnings, and THEN even today allows Black people to get pulled over for a busted taillight, which somehow escalates into them getting shot 27 times and nobody goes to jail for that, I think it’s fair to say Black men (and women) living in the United States have faced unfair obstacles for a long, long, long time.

Point of Interest And No It’s Not This Substack Ad Suggesting You Subscribe, Although That Would be Nice:

The reason slave owners didn’t want slaves to be able to read is they believed it would make their slaves harder to control (the slave owners were 100% right) and the owners wanted their slaves to be dependent on them for information, so whenever someone ridicules education or people with degrees (growing up in a Pentecostal Church, we warned that college would give us “ideas” and who needs more of those because I’ve got too many already) here’s what they really mean:

“We need you dumb and ignorant so we can tell you anything and you’ll believe it and, by the way, Donald Trump actually won the 2020 election so why don’t you blockheads trot on down to the capitol and try to overthrow the government?”

As history conclusively demonstrates, ignorance is the friend of slave owners and our 47^th President.

So whether you want to admit it or not America has a long tradition of being racist and that being the case, in the 1960s some people tried to even things up with “affirmative action.”

Which can be a vague concept and in some places it meant just encouraging people to not be racist assholes (good luck with that one) and in other places it meant quotas—if 13.7% of Americans are Black, 13.7% of your employees should be Black and I guess that .7% meant you needed to hire Kevin Hart—which is a clumsy and imprecise way of doing things, but at least somebody admitted things needed to change and tried to make that happen.

Anecdote of Possible Interest:

In the late 1970s I once applied for a political cartoonist job at a major California newspaper and the editor doing the hiring said he liked my work, but admitted he’d prefer to hire a Black or a woman.

I considered saying: “Would it help if I was gay?”

But then I’d have to keep up the pretense of being gay, which meant a better wardrobe and more stylish haircut and being way more fun at parties and also being “besties” with attractive women who I secretly lusted after and I was pretty sure I couldn’t keep that pretense up for long, plus keeping a job in the newspaper industry often requires kissing ass which was already more sexual than I ever wanted to be with another man.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, and, yes, that’s a Seinfeld reference.

Speaking of pretenses…

I once told a cartoonist friend of mine (he knows who is) that if we announced we were a gay couple they’d give a Pulitzer Prize to at least one of us, but the plan fell apart when we discussed exactly who’d do what to whom to provide evidence of our newfound sexuality and I also said nobody would buy our gay couple story because everyone would take one look at us and know if I were actually gay I could do a lot better than him.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Morons, etc.

So where were we before I started rambling on about one of my many dumb ideas?

Right, America’s History of Racism and the attempts to even things out with affirmative action, but after benefitting from being White for just 345 short years, White males now started whining about “reverse racism.” Once being Black could be an advantage in some situations (although still damn few of them) all the Conservative White Dudes decided it was high time we quit considering race when handing out jobs or promotions.

And being Whiter Than Wonder Bread, Donald Trump recently revoked Executive Order 11246 which was signed by Lyndon Johnson in 1965 and prohibited discriminatory practices in hiring and employment in government contracting and also asserted the government’s commitment to affirmative action.

Which ought to explain the cartoon you just looked at and before you know it they’ll be burning a cross on the White House lawn and now that I write that down I should put it in a cartoon as soon as possible.

But before I do that…

Congress created “inspector generals” to serve as independent watchdogs of government agencies and root out abuse and illegalities which sounds like a good thing unless you plan to do a bunch of sketchy stuff and abuse the living hell out of your position, which might help explain why Donald Trump recently fired a bunch of inspector generals and being the classy guy he is, did it with emails.

The firings violate a law that requires a president to give Congress 30 days’ notice that he plans to fire an inspector general and the president is also supposed to give Congress a reason for a firing and it appears Trump is going to violate laws and ignore the Constitution whenever he feels like it and dare the rest of us to stop him.

A philosophy that, at least so far, has worked out pretty well for him.

Next up, Trump pardons all the January 6^th rioters—even the ones who were violent—so as usual all that Conservative Flag-Waving Patriotism and Respect for Law and Order is a bunch of horseshit to be abandoned when it’s even slightly inconvenient and the new litmus test isn’t “Did you obey the law?” or “Are you qualified for this position?” it’s “Just how loyal are you to Donald Trump?”

Which is how this next woman got her job.

Just in case you’ve forgotten, Kristi Noem was the batshit crazy governor of South Dakota who shot her German wirehaired pointer puppy with a shotgun because it behaved badly and then Kristi bragged about the incident in her book because she thought it showed she was willing to make tough decisions.

She also bragged about meeting with and standing up to North Korea’s Kim Jung Un and that must have been yet another tough decision because the story was totally fabricated. Her spokesperson Ian Fury (and I can’t believe this guy isn’t already in the WWF or scheduled to fight Mike Tyson) said the book had two “small errors” and here’s what Kristi wrote about that fictional meeting:

“I remember when I met with the North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. I’m sure he underestimated me, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants (I’d been a children’s pastor after all).”

That never happened and if you believe telling bullshit stories that make you look good is a “small error” to be overlooked by the public, let me tell you about my torrid affair with Princess Caroline of Monaco…the Young Princess Caroline when she looked like this…

As smitten women are likely to do, Caroline wanted to get hitched and we would rule Monaco together, but I turned her down because all things considered – I mean who wants to wear a tuxedo that often – I’d rather be a political cartoonist.

True story (unlike the two previous paragraphs): Gary Cooper came to Los Angeles because he wanted to be a political cartoonist and when that didn’t work out, had to settle for being an International Film Star (he was from Montana and knew how to ride a horse and started out being an extra in Westerns) so from now on when you think of cool jobs to have, remember they rank in this order:

1. Political Cartoonist

2. International Film Star

3. Princess Caroline Boy Toy

Also remember Kristi Noem was governor of South Dakota so she wasn’t even in a state that had an international border and when the president of the South Dakota Farmers Union was asked if Noem was qualified to run the Department of Homeland Security, he said:

“Good God, no, she can’t run the state.”

But as the cartoon points out, if we ever have to fight off a bunch of German Wirehaired Pointer Puppy Terrorists, Trump definitely picked the right woman for the job.

Today’s Lesson

It’s wrong to pretend to be gay to get a job, so pretend to be a Trump Supporter instead, because if you’re a Trump Supporter you can now assault police officers and get away with it, and now that lying about encountering World Leaders is no impediment to becoming a Cabinet Member, go ahead and claim you’re the one who assassinated Hitler even though he wasn’t assassinated and if any of those book-reading “educated” people point that out, just call it a “small error,” but do it quick because I’m about to add that to my resume.

P.S.

If you run into Princess Caroline of Monaco don’t mention my name because I’m pretty sure she’s still carrying a torch for me and we should let sleeping German wirehaired pointers lie, because how else are they ever going to become a Trump Cabinet member?

That’s it for today, but before you know it I’m going post something about Dithering Democrats and their disappointing reaction to Trump’s Second Presidency.

Until then, hang in there.

http://kingfeatures.com/comics/editorial-cartoons-a-z/