Actors, activism and the Gettysburg Address Test
Despite a lifetime spent observing and commenting on politics – or maybe because of it – I’m not a big fan of political speeches.
Most political speeches go on way too long and most politicians aren’t great public speakers.
Kind of a side note, but worth mentioning because it’s somewhat related: I haven’t spent that much time in a courtroom, but my limited experience has taught me most real lawyers aren’t nearly as good at public speaking as the actors who portray lawyers in movies. Maybe because the movie lawyers have someone else write their courtroom speeches or maybe it’s because they get another take if they screw something up, but real-life lawyers in action tend to be something of a disappointment…same thing for real-life politicians.
Heck, now that I think of it, real life in general is something of a disappointment when compared to life in the movies so maybe I should quit watching so many movies.
Where was I?
That’s right…dumping on political speeches.
OK, so the Democratic National Convention kicked off the other night and I watched the first few minutes and saw it was hosted by Eva Longoria who, it turns out, is pretty good in front of a camera.
Which led to the cartoon posted at the top of this column.
But a few minutes into the convention she started interviewing people who weren’t that good in front of a camera and there was a ballgame on at the same time so I switched to that and figured if the Democrats actually made any real news someone would probably mention it the next day.
BTW: The Royals lost to the Twins 4-1 so maybe I should have stuck with the convention coverage.
Actor activism
So the next day I googled Eva Longoria’s name to make sure I was spelling it right and saw an article in which Marco Rubio ridiculed the Democrats for using actors to host their convention.
Mr. Thirsty’s point was actors and celebrities are out of touch with the lives of regular Americans which is kinda rich coming from a Republican whose president was a reality show host and only made contact with regular Americans when one of them carried his golf clubs.
Also, the Republicans absolutely worship Ronald Reagan – the star of Bedtime for Bonzo if you don’t count Bonzo – which must have slipped Mario’s mind before he decided to criticize out-of-touch actors.
Which brings us to actors and activism.
About once a year someone expresses the wish that actors stay out of politics and that’s because some actor gets up at the Academy Awards and decides to use his or her moment in the spotlight to talk about a political cause near and/or dear to their hearts and bores the crap out of the nation when all we really wanted was to be entertained and find out who won the Oscar for Best Sound Mixing.
(OK, that was a joke. Nobody actually cares who won the Oscar for Best Sound Mixing other than the person who wins it and the people who don’t.)
When an actor gets up and goes on about climate change or the indigenous people of (fill in the country) who are being wiped by corporate greed, most of us are bored and realize the same actor who poured his or her heart out over some cause they momentarily care about will then go to a party, see how much coke they can stuff up their nose before accidentally falling into a swimming pool and then finishing the evening by having to organize a search party for the Oscar they’re almost sure they were carrying when they walked in the door.
Nevertheless…
Actors are also people and they get to have political opinions just like the rest of us. If the host of The Apprentice can be president, a Desperate Housewife can host the Democratic National Convention.
The Gettysburg Address Test
But no matter your original profession, if you’re asked to give a political speech I would urge you to use what I call “The Gettysburg Address Test” as a guideline.
The Gettysburg Address is 275 words long.
Unless you believe that you have something more important to say than Abraham Lincoln did on November 19th, 1863, keep your speech under 275 words. Lincoln was asked to give a “few appropriate remarks” and came up with a speech that took about three minutes to deliver and is still relevant 157 years later.
And if you write a great 275-word, three-minute speech, but suck at public speaking, ask Eva Longoria to make your speech for you.
I watched all of it to get inspiration. Wednesday evening was very compelling. President Obama made some great points last night. You might notice that next week President Bush will not be involved with the GOP convention in any manner.
What short memories politicians have. I think you should stay away from viewing politics and baseball. Both provide a lot of room for disappointment. Old movies not so much.