Bigger fish to fry

I’d like to think my anti-Donald Trump credentials are pretty much up-to-date and yes, if you’re an authority figure and tell a group of dumbbells to go “fight like hell” you probably have some responsibility for what happens next.

And yes, the Republicans are being hypocritical when they say they just “want to move on” because when it suits their purpose they’re happy to stake a claim, plant crops and eventually build a three-room log cabin on whatever issue they want to whine about for an extended period of time.

And yes, I buy the argument that the impeachment trial is constitutional because if it’s not you’re giving presidents who lost their election a free pass to behave like revenge-seeking werewolves during a January full moon. 

But…

As I’ve mentioned before, the Democrats don’t have enough Republican votes to impeach Trump and despite a number of people saying some version of “you never know” at least so far nobody has taken the position that the shortage of GOP votes is likely to change.

That being the case, the impeachment trial seems to be yet another chance to show riot videos, pose in front of cameras and make Trump look like a horse’s ass, which he most definitely is and normally I’d be fine with all that, but the Democrats have bigger fish to fry – as the cartoon points out – and the sooner they start frying, the better.

For instance:

• I’d like to get the COVID-19 vaccine, but so far all my attempts indicate I have a better chance of winning the state lottery even though I don’t actually buy tickets.  

• While the Democrats do their Actors studio workshop, people are waiting for economic relief.

• And just in case you want to look at the big picture: the Himalayan glaciers are melting and over the weekend a mass of rocks, ice and snow came crashing down a mountain slope and according to the Associated Press, 31 people are dead and 165 people are missing and feared dead.

So yeah, the Democrats have plenty to do on their To-Do List and humiliating Donald Trump wouldn’t seem to be the first thing they need to accomplish.

A word about climate change

It used to be called “global warming” which it is, but apparently too many of us don’t understand averages and assume if we’re cold, global warming must be a hoax.

And by that intellectually-rigorous standard of logic: if we just ate a pulled pork sandwich with fries and potato salad from Rosedale BBQ (which I can report from personal experience is excellent) then there is no world hunger.

The tendency to believe we’re the center of the universe and whatever bad happens to us is a huge problem and whatever bad happens to other people is of no concern whatsoever, leads to a lot of arguments and misunderstandings.

Global warming is real, but it’s also causing some weird-ass weather patterns in general and your mileage may vary.

Here in KC it was in the 60s like last week and this Sunday it’s predicted to be 9 below and that’s without the “windshield factor” which is what one of my kids called it when they were still adorable and not the size of lowland gorillas.

Unrelated story alert:

OK, so the “lowland gorilla” joke led me to wonder if there are “highland” gorillas (there are) and that internet search also led me to some of those “frequently asked questions” and one of them was: “Can a gorilla beat a lion?”

Let’s face it, that’s just the kind of question that led ancient Rome to fall because if you were one of those crazy Roman emperors and someone asked that question in your presence you’d immediately send an expedition to Africa to secure a gorilla and a lion so you could have a steel cage match in the Roman Colosseum and see for yourself.

Meanwhile, the citizens of Rome would say, “Geez, Claudius the Impulsive has lost his damn mind…although that Koko versus Simba bout was pretty entertaining.”  

I actually read the article about this matchup and depending on terrain, time of day and whether or not the gorilla could find a Louisville Slugger to use, Las Vegas was betting on the gorilla.

Also on the “can a gorilla beat” question list were: tigers, bears, leopards, elephants and Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson and the only one I made up was Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson. Seems to be way too much interest in what other species a gorilla can beat, so be on the lookout for gorilla v. sperm whale matches in your area and if you hear about one contact your local authorities and me because if they’re going to hold that match anyway, I wouldn’t mind seeing how they pull it off.

Is that so wrong?

And just to even this post out a little…

Joe Biden talked about unifying the country after Trump split it apart, but the Republicans got in bed with some batshit-crazy people (an offensive term often used in the mental health community when civilians aren’t around) which might make you think of the “politics makes  strange bedfellows” saying, but in this case I think “bedfellows make strange politics” which I’d turn into a cartoon, but I think I already drew it and as I recall, the Clintons were the target.

Anyway…

Since the Republicans decided to embrace the lunatic fringe, meeting them halfway still puts you somewhere smack dab in the middle of a minefield, which is a cartoon image I haven’t used, but now that it occurs to me, will get around to as soon as the memory of this “meet us halfway” cartoon fades, which at my age will be sometime tomorrow afternoon.

(I had an amusing story about misplacing something, but forgot what it was.)

So remember…

I was totally against this second Trump impeachment trial unless somehow, someway the Democrats find 17 Republicans with an actual working spine and considering the last four years that seems unlikely. But if by some miracle that happens, I’ll delete this post and pretend I never wrote it and I would really appreciate it if you did the same.

In the meantime; keep watching your mailbox for that COVID-19 relief check, keep an eye out for melting glaciers and don’t fight any lowland gorillas without telling me first.

Because I’d really like to watch that.

http://kingfeatures.com/comics/editorial-cartoons-a-z/