Hey, offend Christianity as much as you want dawg. In my humble opinion there has been more evil done throughout history in the name of religion than for any other reason including money. I want there to be a higher something and somewhere we go when we move on, because I really want to think that my brother and my parents are together again and all that. But the whole performative bullspit of hypocrisy that is "church" just ain't gonna work for me.
I'm with Blood, Seat and Tears: "Swear there ain't no heaven, pray there ain't no hell." No idea what comes next, if anything, but I agree you don't have to find God in a church.
You can oreach this brand of truth anytime. My adult sons and I were discussing a lot of this stuff on Thanksgiving. They were hazed by both Baptists and Catholics when they were kids because we attended the church of the Shawnee Shoney's Buffet and always got there before our holy neighbors. Thanks for sharing the Kris song, too. I'd forgotten about it.
I wish my mom had taken us to Shoney's Buffet on Sundays, but we were forced to attend a church service in the morning or evening (our choice) because she went twice. And you're welcome for the Kris Kristofferson song; the world's a less interesting place without him in it.
Wow. You've really outdone yourself with this one, Mr. J, and I say that's a good thing.
If I wasn't a card-carrying atheist (who seriously wished he wasn't) I would say, "Bless thee."
I was raised Catholic and had hell drilled into me so hard that it resulted in my simplistic thinking style: Everything was black or white and either saving my soul or sending me to hell. No in between.
My brother's wife is an evangelical Christian and the most genuinely decent and honestly loving human being I have ever met. If I believed in such things, I would nominate her for sainthood. She keeps trying to convert me, which I consider to be her only character defect. Please, my dear, don't waste your valuable time on me.
Always interested in a good story about what it's like to be human, I recently stumbled across a TV series called The Chosen, which portrays Jesus' apostles as mere humans, loyal to JC but also just basically a bunch of dudes trying to muck their way through life - like most of us non-zealots. I highly recommend it from a human interest point of view. Jesus comes across as woke, more enlightened than us, but definitely not a fanatic.
Gotta go. Loved, loved your slam of Red Sox fans. I would add they have always struck me as obnoxious KU basketball fans who couldn't pronounce their R's correctly. Am probably going to hell for saying that.
Okay, so here's Sal Governale from the Howard Stern show, making a prank phone call to a religious call in show. And he starts to speak in tongues to them (and they to him). YET, the tongues he's speaking in are exactly what you're talking about A Wop Bam Boom Tutti Fruity...it's a classic https://youtu.be/7mb7FB1aJsw?si=SKayoPofiP4AYv2L
Yeah, the people who speak in tongues all the sound the same and you'd think there would be differences because even though the Muppets Swedish Chef is speaking gibberish (I think) he does it with cadence and tones that make it sound Swedish.
Like I said in the essay, if anyone ever broke out into some Spanish I would have found it more convincing.
Don’t forget the injunction to stone your daughter if she’s unfaithful or okaying making slaves of your neighbors - one hair-splitter suggested that enslaving Mexicans O.K., Canadians not (the bully-in-chief would disagree).
Religious folks are able to adapt to the times - in the 1970s Mormons changed their minds about black people because God had changed her mind.
Man, must have been shitty to live next door to one of these rule-givers. As you point out: we're highly selective about which rules we follow and which rules we feel free to ignore.
I’m right there with you. But, I thought Capricorns were big on being in charge of their future. Not sure that worked out for him? I’m not a Red Sox fan, but before you take shots at them, you’ve got to put Yankee fans at the top of the obnoxious pile.
Lucky for me I don't believe in astrology either, but you have an excellent point about Yankee fans. And we shouldn't forget the Philadelphia fans who booed the Eagles in their last game even though the Eagles just won a Super Bowl and are 8-4 and leading their division.
And don't be surprised when Chiefs fans turn on Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid. We claim to be nice here in the Midwest, but we're a lot nicer when things are going our way.
Thanks for finding humor in the crazy Christianity around these days. I had to wade through a lot of Biblical nonsense growing up too. Checked out young. Reading the book "God Without Religion" which examines historically how organized religions & accompanying dogma became embedded into our culture over years & years, I understood how messed up today's religions are. Your mom is just like massive amounts of people who just followed organized religions because they made one think only way to God was going to church. (and giving them $)
I have an odd relationship with religion. With my folks being raised like they were, you’d think I would have been raised devout.
My mother was born in Jersey and raised Protestant. She went to the church across the street. My great however-many ago grandfather helped build it in 1822. As soon as she was an adult, she stopped going.
My father was from Kentucky. I never saw the house he was born in. It burned down decades before I was born. But I did get to stay in the house that my grandma was born in. It was so far back in the holler that she didn’t get running water in the house until 1972, and that was just a hand pump in the kitchen. My father had 5 Baptist preachers in the generation above him, to include Grandma’s brother Hamie. He was the only one of the preachers that I met. I was told one of the five was a woman! They were a mix of Southern and Free-Will. One of my grandma’s sisters was disowned after she married a Catholic. My father was an Atheist.
One of my favorite teachers was religious. At the time, I loved her. As an adult, I now know just how badly she broke the rules. I do not know how recent her transformation was, but her husband was divorcing her due to the cult she joined. A cult whose material she had in the classroom. She took me to be Baptized. She never actually preached to us, at least not in an obvious way. It was the Church of Christ, not to be confused with the Later-day ones. This “religion” practiced laying of hands and talking in tongues. I went to one of their revivals and was scared to death. The preacher would touch a congregant, who would then scream and carry on. Half collapsed. I understand now that it was mass hysteria. But as an eleven-year-old who had never actually been to a church I was shaking and crying. I never went back.
Yeah and I couldn't help but notice the only couple they let dance was Black. Apparently nobody wanted to see the White guys cutting a rug. And I really wish Little Richard had thrown in a verse from the Gay Sex Version so we could see how the gang at the malt shop reacted.
Hey, offend Christianity as much as you want dawg. In my humble opinion there has been more evil done throughout history in the name of religion than for any other reason including money. I want there to be a higher something and somewhere we go when we move on, because I really want to think that my brother and my parents are together again and all that. But the whole performative bullspit of hypocrisy that is "church" just ain't gonna work for me.
I'm with Blood, Seat and Tears: "Swear there ain't no heaven, pray there ain't no hell." No idea what comes next, if anything, but I agree you don't have to find God in a church.
You can oreach this brand of truth anytime. My adult sons and I were discussing a lot of this stuff on Thanksgiving. They were hazed by both Baptists and Catholics when they were kids because we attended the church of the Shawnee Shoney's Buffet and always got there before our holy neighbors. Thanks for sharing the Kris song, too. I'd forgotten about it.
I wish my mom had taken us to Shoney's Buffet on Sundays, but we were forced to attend a church service in the morning or evening (our choice) because she went twice. And you're welcome for the Kris Kristofferson song; the world's a less interesting place without him in it.
Preaching to the choir
I'm glad the choir is still listening.
Wow. You've really outdone yourself with this one, Mr. J, and I say that's a good thing.
If I wasn't a card-carrying atheist (who seriously wished he wasn't) I would say, "Bless thee."
I was raised Catholic and had hell drilled into me so hard that it resulted in my simplistic thinking style: Everything was black or white and either saving my soul or sending me to hell. No in between.
My brother's wife is an evangelical Christian and the most genuinely decent and honestly loving human being I have ever met. If I believed in such things, I would nominate her for sainthood. She keeps trying to convert me, which I consider to be her only character defect. Please, my dear, don't waste your valuable time on me.
Always interested in a good story about what it's like to be human, I recently stumbled across a TV series called The Chosen, which portrays Jesus' apostles as mere humans, loyal to JC but also just basically a bunch of dudes trying to muck their way through life - like most of us non-zealots. I highly recommend it from a human interest point of view. Jesus comes across as woke, more enlightened than us, but definitely not a fanatic.
Gotta go. Loved, loved your slam of Red Sox fans. I would add they have always struck me as obnoxious KU basketball fans who couldn't pronounce their R's correctly. Am probably going to hell for saying that.
Learning to see the world in shades of gray is part of growing up...or should be.
If you go to hell, don't worry, I'll save you a seat in the stone cold heathens section 😂
Gutsy...and very on point. Too many "Christians" don't care to act like Christians.
The one thing I got out of my religious upbringing is learning to spot a phony and the world is full of them.
I love you, even though you're a guy. 😂
I get it, that's a flaw hard to overlook.
LOL.
Are you calling me a phony? ;-)
You're a paid subscriber so I would never do that.
Okay, so here's Sal Governale from the Howard Stern show, making a prank phone call to a religious call in show. And he starts to speak in tongues to them (and they to him). YET, the tongues he's speaking in are exactly what you're talking about A Wop Bam Boom Tutti Fruity...it's a classic https://youtu.be/7mb7FB1aJsw?si=SKayoPofiP4AYv2L
Yeah, the people who speak in tongues all the sound the same and you'd think there would be differences because even though the Muppets Swedish Chef is speaking gibberish (I think) he does it with cadence and tones that make it sound Swedish.
Like I said in the essay, if anyone ever broke out into some Spanish I would have found it more convincing.
Don’t forget the injunction to stone your daughter if she’s unfaithful or okaying making slaves of your neighbors - one hair-splitter suggested that enslaving Mexicans O.K., Canadians not (the bully-in-chief would disagree).
Religious folks are able to adapt to the times - in the 1970s Mormons changed their minds about black people because God had changed her mind.
Man, must have been shitty to live next door to one of these rule-givers. As you point out: we're highly selective about which rules we follow and which rules we feel free to ignore.
I’m right there with you. But, I thought Capricorns were big on being in charge of their future. Not sure that worked out for him? I’m not a Red Sox fan, but before you take shots at them, you’ve got to put Yankee fans at the top of the obnoxious pile.
Lucky for me I don't believe in astrology either, but you have an excellent point about Yankee fans. And we shouldn't forget the Philadelphia fans who booed the Eagles in their last game even though the Eagles just won a Super Bowl and are 8-4 and leading their division.
And don't be surprised when Chiefs fans turn on Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid. We claim to be nice here in the Midwest, but we're a lot nicer when things are going our way.
Thanks for finding humor in the crazy Christianity around these days. I had to wade through a lot of Biblical nonsense growing up too. Checked out young. Reading the book "God Without Religion" which examines historically how organized religions & accompanying dogma became embedded into our culture over years & years, I understood how messed up today's religions are. Your mom is just like massive amounts of people who just followed organized religions because they made one think only way to God was going to church. (and giving them $)
Thanks, Twila. Lots of things get screwed up when someone realizes there's money to be made and religion is on that list.
I have an odd relationship with religion. With my folks being raised like they were, you’d think I would have been raised devout.
My mother was born in Jersey and raised Protestant. She went to the church across the street. My great however-many ago grandfather helped build it in 1822. As soon as she was an adult, she stopped going.
My father was from Kentucky. I never saw the house he was born in. It burned down decades before I was born. But I did get to stay in the house that my grandma was born in. It was so far back in the holler that she didn’t get running water in the house until 1972, and that was just a hand pump in the kitchen. My father had 5 Baptist preachers in the generation above him, to include Grandma’s brother Hamie. He was the only one of the preachers that I met. I was told one of the five was a woman! They were a mix of Southern and Free-Will. One of my grandma’s sisters was disowned after she married a Catholic. My father was an Atheist.
One of my favorite teachers was religious. At the time, I loved her. As an adult, I now know just how badly she broke the rules. I do not know how recent her transformation was, but her husband was divorcing her due to the cult she joined. A cult whose material she had in the classroom. She took me to be Baptized. She never actually preached to us, at least not in an obvious way. It was the Church of Christ, not to be confused with the Later-day ones. This “religion” practiced laying of hands and talking in tongues. I went to one of their revivals and was scared to death. The preacher would touch a congregant, who would then scream and carry on. Half collapsed. I understand now that it was mass hysteria. But as an eleven-year-old who had never actually been to a church I was shaking and crying. I never went back.
Sounds like you were a very perceptive 11-year-old.
I loved the white guys trying to be more cool than the next one clapping hands behind Litte Richard
Yeah and I couldn't help but notice the only couple they let dance was Black. Apparently nobody wanted to see the White guys cutting a rug. And I really wish Little Richard had thrown in a verse from the Gay Sex Version so we could see how the gang at the malt shop reacted.
Liked the Kris Kristopher song. Thanks
Glad you enjoyed it.