21 Comments
User's avatar
Mark's avatar

Damn, this one hit home for me. I’m a lifelong and voracious reader (translation: I read a lot.) I’m also a retired “creative professional” and academic, and one thing of which I’m certain is that there’s absolutely no room in my world for pretentious writing. Academe is notorious for doing so. The free downloadable ebooks on Amazon equally so, not to mention they are rife with bad writing, preposterous plots, and simply not entertaining. This last thing is unforgivable. A book that doesn’t entertain me is wasting whatever time I have left to mope around on this rock. Give me Raymond Chandler or Robert B. Parker any day of the week, which is a little tough these days because my local library has democratically decided to limit the number of titles in their collection by authors who’ve fooled so many people into reading their work, in favor of titles that put me right to sleep.

Lee Judge's avatar

I worked on an editorial page so I know a thing or two about pretentious writing. As the days dwindle down to a precious few I no longer have patience for boring books and if I read the first paragraph and it doesn't grab me, that's it.

The writer probably had a couple years to put his book together and if he/she couldn't think of a great opening I don't expect the next 400 pages to get any better.

Terrry Payne's avatar

Could not have said, not written it, any better.

Bud Simpson's avatar

Anyone who, even on a drunken whim, considers themselves to be a writer should go, at least once to a Writer's Workshop. You're not likely to get into the Iowa Writer's Workshop, but there are others, any one of which, even at the local corner bookstore level, will humble and embarrass you until you admit, at least to yourself, that you can't string three words together, much less create a cohesive narrative. It's sobering. You will consider taking up welding.

Lee Judge's avatar

I think you just gave me several good reasons to avoid writer workshops.

Terrry Payne's avatar

Another classic, Mr. J. Thanks tons.

I loved Winter's Bone and was stunned when the movie-makers did not, for once, completely eff up a terrific book.

I was very sorry to learn of Mr. Woodrell's passing. If I recall correctly he was said to have reread his writing of this book as he progressed ... from the beginning, completely through, EVERY day. If he did that with everything he wrote perhaps that explains not only his extraordinary talent, but also why he did not produce another novel after 2013.

I would add Henry James to the list of great writers who could put me into a coma. Man never missed one chance, ever, to add a comma so that he could extend a sentence into next week.

Amen re: libraries. They were my best friend in a very lonely childhood. Still in love with them.

BTW, White Whale is also the name of a band which produced a great favorite song of mine: "What's an Ocean For?" Stumbled across it on You Tube. Never get tired of listening to it.

Lee Judge's avatar

Henry James was originally on my list, but I wanted to use the King James Bible and having another James in the same sentence screwed up the rhythm.

Very upset to hear about Daniel Woodrell; so I guess I should quit waiting for his next book?

Had the same childhood experience with libraries. From the time I was old enough to walk and read I was a regular patron. As I've said (or maybe written) before: if you don't read the only experiences you have to learn from are your own. Reading opens up the world.

And if you read the right books it's a world filled with wise-cracking private eyes and cynical cops and dames with legs longer than the Pacific Coast Highway and twice as dangerous.

Mandy Worley's avatar

And I need to understand more about cheap drug store whiskey. Like Walgreens whiskey? CVS whiskey?

Lee Judge's avatar

There's "whiskey" for drinks like Manhattans and then you use the good stuff because you're going to be able to taste it (and Angel's Envy Finished Rye is pretty tasty) and there's "whiskey" for Irish coffees and you buy that from the bottom shelf at the grocery store (Canadian Mist comes to mind) and after the first one use anything you want because now you're just in it for the alcohol.

And, yeah, you can find the cheap stuff in drug stores.

Mandy Worley's avatar

Agree re the over-prolific writers. In my mind quality AND quantity don’t really work if you’re writing books. Barbara Cartland wrote over 700 books. Yeesh.

Maybe the White Whale is just a White Whale. Must everything be symbolic?

Lee Judge's avatar

There are people (and some make a living out of it) who over-complicate things and enjoy pointing out the hidden meanings in art the rest of us lunkheads missed, but as Freud didn't say (I looked this one up) sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Which sounds like something a cigar smoker would say.

Twila Samborski's avatar

Winter's Bone, tough to watch, but a great book & movie. Thanks for mentioning. Also, glad that you brought up Patterson, I never really read him but when I started seeing his name everywhere on books with another authors name much smaller under his, I though what a greedy guy. Why water down your name with crap. Like you said, he has enough $, because of this lazy approach, he loses respect.

Lee Judge's avatar

My other pet peeve (I've got quite a menagerie) are greedy publishers who won't let successful authors die and keep putting out books written by some lesser writer under the famous writer's name.

If you kill the golden goose, replace it with a tin duck.

Matthew's avatar

As long as your list includes:

John Sanford

Robert Crais

Joseph Wambaugh

Then you are good to go…

Lee Judge's avatar

I'm 2-for-3. Lost track of Wambaugh, but used to read him.

Ann McElhenny's avatar

Somehow makes me want to pull out my John D MacDonald Travis McGee books (again). Have many more detective/mystery/police procedure/crime authors I like, but have never read Woodrell, will have to check him out (yeah, that was intended; I also have a library card).

Lee Judge's avatar

Woodrell will not disappoint.

Larry Newkirk's avatar

“Semi-recently”! What a great word to open an article. Thanks for your observations and opinions.

Lee Judge's avatar

Thanks. It's the word I use when I can't remember exactly when I did something, but I'm pretty sure it happened this century. Feel free to borrow.

Frank C. Siraguso's avatar

In high school-a Catholic high school - in the 1960s, our English teachers were obsessed with “what does this character symbolize?” Several students developed the “deep meaning machine” to answer those questions. Years later realized I could skip all that and focus on what is on the page. I suppose we could say Moby Dick-the whale-symbolizes obsession, and Ahab the obsessed. But maybe this: Ahab missed Moby the first time, but Moby never forgot. When Ahad and the Pequod show up again, Moby Dick decides to put a stop to it once and for all. So speaks the Deep Meaning Machine.

Lee Judge's avatar

You're explanation is as good as anybody's. Personally, I think the lesson here is don't keep pissing off something bigger than the boat you're in. Jaws had it right.