I come not to praise Rush Limbaugh, but to bury him

As deeply as possible...

I may not have had much to say about Rush Limbaugh’s death in the cartoon above, but here — where I share thoughts that might be best left unexpressed, but go ahead and share them anyway — I have a lot to say, so let’s get started.

OK, so Rush Limbaugh died and some conservative twit wrote a column saying he was going to miss Rush Limbaugh’s “wit and wisdom” – two Rush Limbaugh qualities that somehow escaped my attention.

Feel free to disagree and leave a comment saying so, (which I promise from the bottom of my heart I won’t read or think about) but one of the problems with being a  conservative radio host, standup comic or political cartoonist, is all too often the targets of your “humor” are the less fortunate.

Which did not seem to bother Rush Limbaugh even a teensy, tiny bit.

He mocked homosexuals, people with AIDS, Blacks, women fighting sexism and in one case, a teenage girl going through an awkward phase; Chelsea Clinton. According to what I read on the internet, Rush called her the “White House dog” and yet Chelsea wound up looking like this:

While Rush wound up looking like this:

I have some sympathy for teenagers going through an “awkward phase” because mine began in 1967 when I was 14 years old and as you can see, my freshman picture in the Ponderosa High School yearbook makes me look like a prime candidate for “Most Likely to Become a Serial Killer.”

And yet, I wound up looking like this:

(Hey, it’s a whopping 9 degrees out there and compared to the rest of the week, 9 on the plus side feels like a damn heat wave.)

So where were we?

Right, pointing out that Rush Limbaugh was a racist, misogynistic, homophobic bully and (I almost forgot) a flaming hypocrite as well. Back in 1995, here’s what Rush had to say about drug use:

“Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country. And we have laws against selling drugs, pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs. ... And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up.”

The internet source I got that from called his TV show “short-lived” which was probably due to TV people belatedly realizing the audience would also have to look at a fat, sweating, narcissist while he poured out his noxious political opinions and judgements on the looks of teenage girls.

And as you may recall, in 2003 Rush eventually admitted he had a drug problem, but instead of turning himself in so he could be “sent up” – which he thought was a great idea when it was somebody else – he sought treatment and then in 2006 he turned himself in because there was a warrant out for him and was then arrested on a charge of “prescription fraud” and his record was later expunged.

So to sum up:

If you had a drug problem, you should spend your days “breaking up big rocks on a chain gang” (Work Song lyrics I first heard on a Paul Butterfield album East-West that, as I recall, had the memorable recommendation that the album be played at the highest volume possible so your ears could bleed, just like they would if you saw Paul live) but if Rush had a drug problem, he needed a slap on the wrist.

Unrelated-pride-goeth-before-a fall story alert

I’m pulling this one out my backside so don’t hold me to any of it, but as I recall…Mike Bloomfield played guitar on that East-West album and somebody called him the greatest guitarist in the world and he was feeling pretty good about himself when he heard about some new guitarist people were talking about, so he went to see for himself.

So Mike decided to pull up a chair and sit right in front of the stage in a: “OK, kid…let’s see what you got” move which backfired, because the kid was...

Jimi Hendrix.

Mike said he sat down thinking he was the greatest guitarist alive and quickly found out he wasn’t even close. He said not only could he not make the sounds Hendrix was making; he didn’t even understand how Hendrix was making them.

So the lesson here is: Don’t Be a Dick.

Which now that I think about it, brings us right back to Rush Limbaugh.

Being a dick for pay…and not in a Ron Jeremy kind of way

Just realized I’m woefully short on male porn star names and the only one I can remember is Ron Jeremy who I believe is (I was going to make a joke that he was 123 years-old, but just looked up his birthday and he’s only two months older than me) so forget the age joke although he looks like stale leftovers heated up in a microwave and I think I look terrific for my age as long as I bundle up and cover everything but my eyes.

Also, Ron Jeremy is facing enough sexual assault charges to send him to prison for 330 years and the way he currently looks, 330 minutes might be a death sentence.

So forget Ron Jeremy and concentrate on another giant dick, Rush Limbaugh.

I did the following cartoon sketch – which the KC Star decided they didn’t need to see in the paper – after Rush got in troubles for having Viagra in his bag at an airport and the Viagra prescription wasn’t in his name…which is kinda weird. Rush had some other dude’s stiffy pills?

Oooh…just read that Rush also went after American Indians and said he was OK with 90 million of them being wiped out because the ones who managed to survive all had casinos. But to be fair, Rush was no more racist than the next guy as long as the next guy was Adolph Hitler.*

*[Obligatory Hitler reference which all liberal commentators agree to make at least once a week, so I’m good until Monday.]

Rush also kinda-sorta-semi-endorsed rape when he said: "How many of you guys...have learned that 'no' means 'yes' if you know how to spot it?"

But leaving reprehensible opinions aside, let’s move on to the metric tons of inaccurate information Rush fed his audience and there are way too many instances to list (Google them if you feel like you need to throw up and need something to put you over the top), but let’s concentrate on one, because I can remember it without looking it up:

Rush said the COVID-19 virus was called the COVID-19 virus because there had been 18 similar viruses before and we survived those so this one was no big no deal, almost of all of which is factually incorrect.

Coronaviruses have been around for centuries and COVID-19 was called a “novel” virus because it’s a new strain not previously seen in humans and it has ‘19’ tacked onto it because it was discovered in 2019, not because there were 18 of them previously which probably didn’t bother Rush Limbaugh one bit because he also said moronic shit like gorillas disproved evolution.

Rush Limbaugh was a bonehead.  

The git that keeps on giving

Git is a term of insult with origins in English denoting an unpleasant, silly, incompetent, annoying, senile, elderly or childish person.

Probably fair to say when you have to provide dictionary entries to explain your joke you might have missed your mark, but I have a doctor’s appointment and need to wrap things up so I’m not going back and writing something new.

I used the “git that keeps on giving” because Rush Limbaugh proved conclusively that you could be – and let’s try to remember all the names I’ve called him so far – a racist, a homophobe, a misogynist, a bully, a hypocrite and lying bonehead and you could still have millions of fans or in extreme cases, become President of the United States.

Rush Limbaugh lowered America’s standards of behavior and if you think I’m being unfair or have gone too far with all this, then I guess you agree with me.

Thanks for your support.

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