Our Special Relationship
This one's about hypocrisy and incoherent accusations...
Pope Francis (the one that’s kinda cool for a pope) screwed up and used the word “genocide” to describe Israel’s actions in Gaza and Israel was already pissed off because His Popeness failed to explicitly condemn Hamas for starting the whole thing. That being the case, Francis tried to mend fences and condemn antisemitism and say he’s cool with the Jews and they actually have a lot in common with Christians.
After all that, the Kansas City Star used an Associated Press story with the headline: “Pope reaffirms special relationship with Jews” which inspired me to illustrate just what that “special relationship” looks like.
As you might have already noticed all on your own, we like having scapegoats and believe in conspiracy theories because otherwise we’d have to admit we’re the ones who fucked up our own lives through bad choices.
So needing a scapegoat that absolves the rest of us, over the centuries Jews have been accused of:
Killing Christians and using their blood for rituals…
Controlling the economy and the world (which makes you wonder why we haven’t had a Jewish president)…
Poisoning wells and causing the Black Death in the 14th Century…
Being behind the 9/11 attack in the 21st Century…
Being capitalists and communists…
Faking the Holocaust and failing to stand up to the Germans behind the unfortunately all too real Holocaust…
Being cowards and too warlike…
And killing Jesus.
(As I recall from my Bible-reading days, the Romans were also involved, but as far as I know the residents of Rome are rarely called Christ Killers.)
I got all the above from the American Jewish Council which put out a glossary of antisemitic terms, phrases and conspiracies and it was alphabetized, but I only made it through the letter “D” because I think you already get the point.
But just in case you didn’t and want to read about the other 22 letters and all the things Jews have been accused of doing, here’s a link and if you click on it make sure you read about “Jewish Lightning” which sounds like a Kentucky Derby entrant, but is actually burning down your house or business so you can collect the insurance money. (In certain parts of the world it’s also known as “Irish Lightning” or “Greek Lightning” so it’s a versatile ethnic slur used by racists everywhere.)
https://www.ajc.org/sites/default/files/pdf/2021-02/AJC_Translate-Hate-Glossary-2021.pdf
That bit about Jewish Lightning made me think of National Dimwit Marjorie Taylor Greene blaming California wildfires on Secret Jewish Space Lasers.
(Man, I really need to get one of those pins.)
In any case, I thought it worth pointing out that Christians (and others) have a long history of blaming Jews for creating all kinds of problems and many of those claims are contradictory and incoherent which doesn’t stop antisemitic people from making them.
And speaking of incoherent and illogical accusations…
According to some Republicans, President Biden is an out-of-touch, mentally incompetent Senior Citizen (and to be fair, a special counsel report just questioned Biden’s memory) and the Democratic Party is a disorganized, incoherent, ineffectual organization that couldn’t organize two six-year-olds and a teeter totter.
And at the same time…
Biden and the Democrats are so ruthlessly efficient that they control Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce, the NFL and the outcome of the Super Bowl and there’s an insidious plot afoot (which makes it sound like the plot couldn’t get an Uber and had to walk) to have the Chiefs win the Super Bowl and then Democratic Zombie Hand Puppet Taylor Swift will endorse Joe Biden.
Having two wildly different accusations of who and what Biden and the Democrats are, kinda makes it seems like the Republicans are just throwing shit at the walls to see what sticks…which seems like a really good way to wind up with shitty walls.
Tesla recently had to recall nearly 2.2 million vehicles because the warning lights are too small which seems like the kind of thing you might want to check out and get right before you build nearly 2.2 million vehicles.
(The news that there are strict federal standards for dashboard warning lights comes as a complete shock because there don’t seem to by any standards for presidential candidates, which means we care more about our car’s dashboard than who runs our country.)
In no particular order because I’m way too lazy to alphabetize this stuff, Tesla automobiles have had problems with:
Autopilot malfunctions
Stuck door handles
Stuck windows
Suspension failures
Noises and rattles
Mobile app connectivity
Infotainment system freezing
Reduced battery range
Charging port failures
Fit and finish of body parts
Paint defects
Sunroof leaks
Blind spots
The car’s weight wearing out tires
Lack of dealerships
Expensive maintenance
Lack of options
Privacy issues
Wheel covers damaging the tires
Spontaneously catching on fire and…
THE STEERING WHEEL LOCKING UP WHILE TURNING AND THE FUCKING WHEELS FALLING OFF.
Here’s an article if you want to read something from someone who doesn’t feel the need to add profanity or totally unnecessary jokes:
https://www.hotcars.com/problems-with-tesla-nobody-talks-about/#power-steering-failure
Considering the wide variety of Tesla problems and the fact that the government said their warning lights were too small, I wondered what size warning light would be appropriate and here’s my conclusion:
As you might have already concluded, politicians love to grandstand and take credit for things they aren’t actually doing and I’d be more inclined to believe politicians care about kids’ safety if they actually did something about school shootings.
But then they’d piss off the NRA so it’s much easier to scold social media CEOs (which they richly deserve) than say maybe it shouldn’t be as easy as it is to get a gun and shoot up your social studies class.
And according to this article from the Socialists at CNBC:
Civil rights groups are saying the Kids Online Safety Act might actually endanger kids because Right-wingers are going to use it to limit kids’ access to certain types of content so some gay kid in Bumfuck, Missouri (which accurately describes about 73% of it) can’t find out that he or she is not alone and where to get help.
You know the Right-Wingers are going to use this act to decide what people can look at and you should also worry about privacy because you’ll have to prove you’re old enough to look at My Two Mommies which might mean providing social media platforms with sensitive information like government-issued documents which seems like a really bad idea because they held those hearings because they believe social media platforms are irresponsible and you can’t trust them.
And finally…
With a wide variety of Trump Trials to choose from, every day there seems to be some Trump Trial News because he’s either yelling insults from the audience of claiming that being an ex-President means he doesn’t have to stop for red lights or return overdue library books and I used Trump’s Legal Problems to remind everyone that we’re facing a trial too.
OK, that’s it for now and if any of you didn’t like what I had to say today, I’m going to take advantage of Our Special Relationship…
And blame the Jews.
The amount of information you must have in your head at any given moment… It boggles.