Should you be angry at the unvaccinated?
Because I’ve been too caught up in explaining why left-handed batters are low-ball hitters and telling long stories about minor surgery and vehicular encounters with pink-suspender-wearing strangers, I haven’t posted any cartoons since the beginning of August, so today let’s rectify that oversight.
(And I really like how I made it sound like it’s partially your fault, which I’ll continue to do any time I make a mistake and I make a lot of them so I suggest you brace yourselves and start preparing excuses for your future errors in judgment.)
When I read that millions of COVID-19 vaccination doses were about hit their expiration date, I drew this:
Hospitals are filling up again and according to a New York Times article published earlier this week, fully vaccinated people have made up as few 0.1% and as many as 5% of those hospitalized and as few as 0.2% and as many as 6% of those who have died.
Being vaccinated doesn’t make you completely safe, but it clearly improves your odds by a wide margin.
They did it by state and surprisingly enough it turns out you don’t want to live in Maine unless you really, really like L.L. Bean and a state where it gets dark about 2:30 in the afternoon, at least that’s what it seemed like the one time I visited. On the other hand, the lobsters I ate were excellent despite sharing that meal with a friend from Texas who refers to lobsters as: “Cockroaches of the Sea.”
Anyway…
Some people don’t want to take the vaccine because it’s “experimental” but the “experiment” has now been field tested millions of times and as the NY Times pointed out the vast majority of people currently getting sick are unvaccinated so maybe it’s an experiment the unvaccinated want in on.
Having vented my spleen on numerous occasions about the people who won’t get vaccinated and are causing problems for the rest of us (you might not be able to travel or get medical attention when you need it because someone else exercised their right to get sick) I think it’s high time we examine just what “venting your spleen” actually means.
Turns out (and I just looked this up) the spleen is located near the stomach and from medieval times up until the 19th century it was believed that anger was caused by the spleen, which is incredibly ignorant and unscientific because we’ve since learned anger is actually caused by people who say masks don’t work even though doctors have been wearing them since 1910.
You could say, “Hey, doctors thought anger was caused by the spleen so they might be wrong now” to which I would say, “Yes, but when doctors found evidence that they were wrong they updated their opinions which is an example you’d do well to follow and I mean that with all my spleen.”
Because a lot of people are mad at other people who refuse to get vaccinated and are prolonging this pandemic and causing problems for all of us, we now have articles by Overly-Reasonable Liberals explaining that anger isn’t productive and maybe we should try to sit down and talk calmly with anti-vaxxers, an approach that worked so successfully when Neville Chamberlain stayed calm and reasoned with Adolf Hitler and achieved “Peace In Our Time” assuming you meant about 4:20 PM because by 5 o’clock Hitler was going to invade Poland.
And yes, I have somehow stumbled into comparing Anti-Vaxxers with Nazis which wasn’t my original intent, but now seems kind of fair because some of the unvaccinated are comparing our government trying to save lives to the Holocaust, which was just a teensy-weensy little bit different because that involved a government trying to kill millions of people and making a pretty good go of it.
Potato-potahto.
Anyway…
You could lock some Overly-Reasonable Liberals in a closet with a pack of rabid weasels and those Liberals would suggest the real problem is the weasels haven’t been given the opportunity to attend Rabid-Weasel-Anger-Management Classes funded by the federal government and conducted by a hologram of Mr. Rogers after two hits on a bong filled with medicinal marijuana to smooth out Fred’s rough edges.
Face it; if you hung out with Mr. Rogers, how could you ever tell if he was stoned?
“Let’s go get Taco Bell…Do you like Taco Bell?...I like Taco Bell…Hold on a minute…I have to put on my outside shoes.”
I am aware that some thoughtful people are concerned about getting vaccinated (some are friends), but as I’ve pointed out before that’s like being in the water surrounded by Great White Sharks (which are way more dangerous than the related sub-species: Mediocre White Sharks) and somebody tries to pull you into their boat and you don’t want to get out of the water until you hear more about the boat’s manufacture.
Maybe you can use facts and logic to persuade some people (I hope so), but what those Overly-Reasonable Liberals don’t understand is you can’t reason with the unreasonable people and a lot of the unvaccinated are illogical and unreasonable and I really wish Fred Rogers was still around to explain it:
“Y’know, Bobby, some people are just knuckleheads. Do you know how to spell knuckleheads? Now how about you don’t hog the bong, because it’s puff, puff, pass and then we’ll go get whatever new combination of the six ingredients Taco Bell uses and puts together in some new way and then calls it some made up name like Tostada-O-Rito which sounds like a mixed marriage between a Latin Dude and the youngest daughter of the O-Ritos of County Cork.”
(OK, so maybe that’s how you tell Mr. Rogers is high…he gets way too chatty.)
BTW: How is Mr. McFeely not the worst name ever for a character on a TV show aimed at children? You’d think they would have seen that one coming a mile away.
Reasoning with the unreasonable
In a recent Kansas City Star article the reporters asked some unvaccinated people why they haven’t gotten the shot and here are some of their responses:
God is my protector, if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.
These are the End Times.
It’s all politics.
There’s no proof it exists.
And now my responses to their responses:
If God is your protector and you’ve got nothing to do with your own health, why stop at red lights? (And now that I write that, I’m guessing some people don’t.) People who say stuff like this…and I grew up around them…are very inconsistent about what’s in God Hands and I think it’s fair to ask those people if God really wants you to drink beer, wouldn’t He put some in your refrigerator? Also, check your driveway; maybe God wants you to have a new bass boat.
According to the internet: the earliest prediction of the End Times was made in the year 66. Not 1966 because I was there and based on what I saw that would have made some sense, but just plain ol’ year 66, so people have been wrong about the End Times coming almost as long as there have been people and if that’s disappointing you might try some Early Times which is just two letters off what you were predicting and ought to be some consolation and if it isn’t, after a couple highballs you won’t care nearly as much.
Pretty much everything has a political element including statements like, “It’s all politics.” Which is just another excuse people use to justify giving up or failing and if I ever get to fight for the Heavyweight Championship (and according to the first two syllables of that title, I’m qualified) after I get knocked out (and I will) and wake up (which I might not) I’ll call the media into the Intensive Care Unit (which I hope has a spare bed, but you never know because a lot of unvaccinated people are getting sick) and explain my loss in the ring by saying: “It’s all politics.”
As of this morning, 621,036 Americans might disagree with your medical conclusion that COVID doesn’t exist.
And speaking of conclusions…
Despite the Overly-Reasonable Liberals urging me to stop being angry I’m still pissed off and think trying to reason with some people is like Playing Beethoven for Dogs.
They’ll hear sounds, but won’t get much out of them.
And I’m not a fan or rewarding people for bad behavior (in Missouri they have considered giving the unvaccinated $25 if they’ll take the shot) because I got vaccinated as soon as possible and now I’m thinking I should have held out for a refrigerator full of beer and a bass boat even though the closest I come to fishing is the occasional trip to Captain D’s for the Deluxe Seafood Platter, which may or may not contain actual fish…I’m in it for the fried dough.
Now here’s a quote from a writer I just discovered and would highly recommend, Mick Herron:
“Compromises laid end to end were indistinguishable from surrender.”
Anyway…
Some people might be open to reason, but I think you can stack facts on top of one another until you’re looking down on the Empire State Building observation deck and other people still won’t be convinced because they just don’t want to be.
And if those people piss you off, I’d say go with it.
Right on!!! To all of this! Your pieces just make my day. We think a lot alike, we should have hung out more at Mother Star! 👍🏼 😂
The Uns should be sued for causing my family to risk illness because they won't get the vax.