According to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. a parasitic worm “got into my brain and ate a portion of it” and the result was severe memory loss, a mental fog and everyone he told about it going, “Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!”
True to form Kennedy failed to provide medical records and an expert in infectious diseases said it would be hard evaluate RFK Jr.’s condition without a look at his brain scans.
The expert also said – generally speaking – people with pork tapeworm infections in their brain more commonly experience seizures and sometimes need to be on anti-seizure medication for a long time because when the worms die they form a calcified cyst in the brain and if you’re currently trying to lose weight by using appetite suppressants I’m fairly confident I just saved you some money, so you’re welcome.
The expert also said the symptoms Kennedy claimed to have are more commonly associated with mercury poisoning and added that worms do not feed on the brain, so RFK Jr. seems a little hazy about the “medical facts” concerning his own health, but don’t worry, I’m sure he’s got all his information on vaccines nailed down tight.
Now here’s a story about RFK Jr.’s brain worm:
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/08/politics/rfk-jr-mercury-poisoning-brain-parasite/index.html
OK, now that we’ve dealt with his brain worm, here’s a short and incomplete list of RFK Jr.’s favorite conspiracy theories:
Vaccines cause autism.
AIDS may not be caused by HIV.
5G networks are being used for surveillance.
Antidepressants are to blame for school shootings.
Chemicals in the water supply turn children transgender.
Wifi causes cancer and “leaky brain” — and if you don’t think that’s a real thing, just watch a Joe Biden press conference.
The CIA killed his uncle. (OK, so he got one right).
If both your dad and uncle managed to piss off the CIA and the Mafia and then both got shot in the head by “lone gunmen” you might begin to think that wasn’t a coincidence.
If you want to read more about RFK Jr.’s conspiracy theories, here you go:
A WARNING: You might not want to watch this
If you’ve never seen it, here’s a slowed down and sharpened version of the Zapruder Film of the JFK assassination which was kept from the general public until it was shown on national TV in 1975. I watched it way back then and distinctly remember some expert coming on my TV immediately afterwards to explain why I didn’t see what I just saw.
Which was President Kennedy getting hit from the front and to his right.
After seeing the Zapruder film a lot of Americans decided the Lone Gunman story we’d been told was bullshit and in 1976 the House Select Committee on Assassinations issued a report that said Kennedy was probably assassinated as the result of a conspiracy and then called it a day and hoped we’d all lose interest because if you start digging into that particular sewer you might wind up with some really uncomfortable and possibly dangerous answers.
To this day, people are still trying to tell us we didn’t see what we just saw and if you’ve got the stomach for it, click on “Watch on YouTube” and you’ll see it too:
And right there is the problem with dismissing all conspiracy theories — some of them are true.
But once you open up the Things-May-Not-Be-What-They-First-Seem Door, all kinds of whackos and nutjobs start streaming in and then you quickly go to Nothing-Is-What-It-First-Seems and we didn’t actually land on the moon, Paul McCartney’s been dead since 1967 and Lizard People disguised as humans actually rule the earth.
(That last one is completely crazy because if Lizard People are actually running things, government would be way more efficient than it is. I mean they figure out space and interdimensional travel and really sophisticated disguises, but can’t fix a pothole?)
So if some conspiracy theories are nuts and some are true, now we have to inform ourselves and ask what’s likely and what’s nutzoid and to make that just a little bit harder, here’s a collection of…
Absolutely True Conspiracy Theories
The Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment
The U.S. Public Health Service conspired with the Tuskegee Institute to pretend to treat syphilis in Black men and even though they knew penicillin would fix their problems, let the disease go untreated so they could learn more about it.
An experiment you probably wouldn’t engage in if the subjects were members of your local country club.
Originally the experiment was supposed to last six months, but went on for 40 years and I’m guessing any Nazis who were still alive when the public finally learned about it were pissed off they didn’t think of it first.
MK Ultra/CIA Mind Control Project
The CIA decided they needed a truth serum so they could root out Communists and decided to dose unwitting Americans and Canadians with LSD – what could possibly go wrong with that plan? – and paid hospitals, universities and prisons for their participation and silence.
In retrospect – and just about any other point of view you choose to take on it – this was an incredibly bad and moronic idea and who knows what damage they did to people and in answer to that last question, apparently there’s some evidence one of the people they were dosing with LSD was Charles Manson.
(If you want to read more about that, try Chaos: Charles Manson, the CIA and the Secret History of the Sixties by Tom O’Neill.)
Doing what people do when they don’t want you to know what they’ve been up to: in 1973 CIA director Richard Helms ordered all MK Ultra documents destroyed, which reminds me I really need to delete my browser history.
CIA Assassinations Program
After Watergate and other assorted hijinks made news, Senator Frank Church and the Church Committee wanted to know just what the hell the CIA was up to and discovered the CIA had been assassinating revolutionary leaders in third world countries and making the deaths look like cancers, car accidents, suicides and heart attacks and they also had a “Heart Attack Gun” which sounds like something from an Austin Powers movie, but unfortunately isn’t.
That’s Frank Church holding the heart attack gun and John Tower wishing he had one (it shot poison darts that made the target appear to have a heart attack) and here’s Barry Goldwater imagining which journalists he’d like to use it on:
And here’s an article about Frank Church and a few of the people who managed to get conveniently murdered before they could testify before his committee:
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/may/07/last-honest-man-frank-church-book-james-risen-review
Prescott Bush Military Coup
The father of George H.W. Bush and grandfather of Dubya wanted to overthrow Franklin D. Roosevelt and his left-wing government and install a military dictatorship and got wealthy businessmen from Chase Bank, Goodyear, GM, Standard Oil and Du Pont involved and these American Patriots wanted the new American dictator to be Marine Corps Major General Smedley Butler.
But these business geniuses who had decided all on their own they were qualified to run the country, failed to do a background check on Smedley and, turns out, he was a big FDR supporter, so Smedley gathered evidence of the conspiracy and presented it to a Congressional Committee and the fact that you probably haven’t heard much about this lets you know just how far under the rug they swept it.
Operation Mockingbird
The CIA ran an operation to produce propaganda and influence the media and “owned” members of the New York Times, Newsweek, CBS and other media outlets.
The Church Committee exposed the conspiracy in 1975 and estimated misinforming the public was costing taxpayers $265 million a year which was really dumb because if they’d just been a little more patient, FOX News would have misinformed the public for free.
COINTELPRO
The FBI and J. Edgar Hoover were pissed off about the counterculture movements of the 1960s and decided to illegally disrupt and discredit the people and movements that bugged them, which included, but was not limited to: the women’s rights movement, the civil rights movement, the Congress of Racial Equality and the American Indian Movement.
The FBI’s been accused of forging documents, planting false stories in the media, harassment, wrongful imprisonment and using violence to get the job done.
Operation Paperclip
The Nazis had some hotshot scientists and after WW2 the U.S. wanted them to work on our space program, but President Truman decided he didn’t want members of the Nazi Party or active supporters of Nazi militarism working for the U.S. government which meant brainiacs like Werner Von Braun weren’t eligible.
But the Joint Intelligence Objectives Agency (a subcommittee of a committee of the Joint Chiefs of Staff which sounds like one of those deals where you insulate yourself with bureaucratic layers from the bullshit you’re involved in) decided we needed those Nazi Scientists anyway, so they created fake biographies and employment records and destroyed evidence connecting them to the Nazis.
Operation Northwoods
In this one the CIA planned to stage terrorist attacks on U.S. Citizens in Miami and Washington, D.C. and blame it on Cuba so we’d get all worked up and be willing to go fight Fidel Castro and his Communist Pals. This plan was authorized by the Joint Chiefs of Staff and made it all the way up the government’s organizational flow chart until it got to JFK, who – not being an out-of-his-goddamn-mind fanatic – rejected it.
Kennedy’s refusal to go along with some of the CIA’s more Looney Tunes schemes is one of the reasons some people believe the CIA was involved in his assassination.
If you want to read more about True Conspiracy Theories, have at it:
Summary
After reading a very short list of conspiracy theories we know were real – go ahead and Google them – it makes you wonder if at least some of the crazy conspiracy theories we currently hear aren’t all that crazy.
If the CIA was willing to conduct terrorists attacks on U.S. citizens in the 1960s to get us into a war they wanted to fight, would they let planes fly into buildings in 2001?
If mobsters got murdered before they could testify before the Church Committee in the 1970s, what are the chances Jeffrey Epstein was murdered in 2019?
And if they lied about the JFK assassination back in 1963, what wouldn’t they be willing to lie about now?
As my Conspiracy Theorist Son (which comes to think of it, describes all three of them) pointed out: if the government wants us to trust them and believe vaccines are safe and they need warrantless wiretaps to protect us and enhanced interrogation isn’t really torture, getting involved in batshit crazy schemes and projects that we know happened (like using thallium salts to make Castro’s beard fall out…and I didn’t make that up either) doesn’t help their case.
Now good luck with your new brain worm.
"War is a Racket" book by Gen. Smedley Butler.
COINTELPRO (and others) also was involved in Kent State (I just found out as I'm currently reading Derf Backderf's Kent State - four dead in Ohio).