On more than one occasion I’ve defended the CDC and urged people to follow their recommendations on wearing masks, but right now I’m kinda pissed off at the CDC because they recently said if you’re fully vaccinated you don’t have to wear a mask indoors which sounds OK if you don’t think about it and apparently the CDC didn’t.
When they were asked how stores and bars and restaurants would know who was fully vaccinated and who wasn’t the CDC said they were going to rely on the honor system.
The above cartoon is some indication of how well I think that’s going to work.
About 97.2 percent of the time I’m a Liberal with a capital “L” but every once in a while I have to agree with Conservatives who think Liberals are naïve dumbasses who don’t seem to have a solid understanding of how the World Actually Works.
This is one of those times.
The people who work in stores and bars and restaurants don’t want to be the mask police or vaccination police and asking some 22-year-old cocktail waitress to confront drunk assholes seems like a pretty big ask and now that I write that I hate this sentence because I’m generally not in favor of using nouns for verbs or verbs for nouns and if we ever office together I’ll gift you with not doing that.
And, yeah, I used a couple dead people in this cartoon mainly because Bernie Madoff and Richard Nixon are fun to draw and pretty good examples of why the “honor system” doesn’t work when you’re talking about people without honor.
The Capitol fence
This cartoon has been loitering on my laptop since early April and was inspired by Missouri Senator Roy Blunt complaining about the fence around the U.S. Capitol which was put up after Trump supporters rioted. Here’s what Senator Blunt had to say about it:
“Actually, fencing can create a false sense of security.”
Which is an interesting comment coming from a conservative, because it doesn’t seem to apply to the fence conservatives want to build along our border. Face it, we’re just going to have to put up with all those Canadians who come South and brag about their publicly funded, universal healthcare system.
And now Republicans are trying to minimize that January 6th riot because it makes Trump supporters look like jerks and here’s what Congressman Andrew Clyde from the 9th congressional district of Mars had to say about it:
"Watching the TV footage of those who entered the Capitol and walked through Statuary Hall, showed people in an orderly fashion in between the stanchions and ropes taking pictures. If you didn't know the footage was from January 6, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit."
Which is awesome because here’s a photo of Andy helping the security guards barricade the door so the “normal tourists” couldn’t get into to the U.S. House. If you’re asking, “Which one is Andy?” pick out the one dumbass not wearing a mask.
The ransomware attack on the oil pipeline
Actually I don’t have all that much to say about this cartoon except to ask if you’ve ever noticed that when something happens to drive gas prices up they get that price increase to your local service station about 20 minutes after it happens and when something happens to drive gas prices down they tell us it will take weeks or months for the less expensive gas to “work its way through the system.”
And the CDC thinks the honor system is going to work?
Housing prices
I Googled “why are houses so expensive” and the first answer came from fortunebuilders.com which I’ve never heard of, but nevertheless, here it is:
The reason houses are so expensive right now is simply the result of a supply and demand problem.
Which sounds like something you’d say when you don’t know the real answer because you could say “supply and demand” when your spouse asks why you’re creeping in at 4AM holding your shoes or a cop asks why you were doing 104 in a school zone.
It sounds like you know something they don’t and you’re clearly operating on a higher plane than they are, so remember to say, “Supply and demand” next time you get asked a question you don’t know how to answer.
Q. Why didn’t you pay your taxes last year?
A. Supply and demand.
Now here’s my theory on housing prices.
We just spent 15 months cooped up with our families and I think a number of people have realized they can stand their families as long as they get to spend 40 hours a week not being with them. Hang out with your family 24/7 for 15 months straight and some people start looking for alternative housing. A theory that’s supported by all the athletes who retire so they can “spend more time with their families” and a year later become a coach or go into broadcasting or take a long walk on a short pier because it turned out their families weren’t all they had been cracked up to be.
If divorce lawyers sell stock, now is the time to buy.
A missed opportunity
I’m pretty sure we all feel that somewhere along the way we missed an opportunity; maybe it was not buying Apple stock when Eve was offering it or not asking that cute girl or guy you worked with out on a date, even though you might have wound up taking a sexual harassment class for your efforts. We all make mistakes.
My most recent missed opportunity involves the above photo.
A while back I posted this photo along with a story about all the horrible stuff these two guys said about each other before sitting down to have their picture taken because they’re politicians and would Bob for Apples with Beelzebub if they thought it would get them one more vote.
I really feel like I missed an opportunity to do more with this photo because now that I look at it a minute or two longer (three minutes and my gag reflex kicks in) I realize these two guys look like prospective buyers at a sex-slave auction which will eventually be broken up by Liam Neeson using his very particular set of skills.
And if you don’t get that joke you really need to watch more action movies and if you’ve already seen Taken and its sequel Take That (I may have my action movies titles mixed up) might I suggest Liam Neeson’s Cold Pursuit which starts out pretty gruesome and then gets kind of funny if you have a warped sense of humor and now that I think about it, also describes a number of first dates and sexual encounters.
Tell me I’m wrong.
OK, now that I’ve got my laptop cleared of a bunch of old cartoons it’s time to create some new ones.
Have a nice day.