It has come to my attention that it has come to your attention that my writing sometimes contains an error—or to be more precise, “errors”—and I’m not even 100% sure the sentence you’re currently reading is grammatically correct.
On the upside, how many times have you been linked with Bruce Springsteen? If you're going to sound like a dork, Bruce would be a cool guy to do it with.
You know, Mr. Judge (may I call you "Mister"?), I tried to help, but no. You said you couldn't afford me.
Here's a FREE tip from a guy that wrote thousands of English columns for a Chinese newspaper and couldn't trust the copy editors: Read it aloud before you hit "Send."
For example, in this sentence: "once you start thinking about it this Rules of Grammar stuff, it never seems to end," you probably would have caught the extra "it" before "this Rules of Grammar stuff" if you'd read it aloud (and really READ it, not just pronounced what you THINK you wrote).
And using my not-yet-patented technique, you might have added "players" to "banjo" or changed it to "banjoists" or something in this one: "I’m not 100% sure accomplished banjo enjoy the sounds they’re making..."
Try it, and leave Ann with more time on her hand.
Anyway, I'm still available, and cheap. Or is it "cheaply"?
Thanks for pointing out the missing "player" after banjo, but I'm keeping the extra "it" And I appreciate the offer, but if you think at this late date in my career I'm going to pay someone to nag me I'm already married.
Your discussion of "moundsman" brought back half-century old memories of working on my HS newspaper). The guys who wrote the sports section were always working in odd synonyms to avoid being repetitious (even though, as you noted, no one would ever used the terms verbally), and moundsman was frequently used. Others I recall are netmen (tennis), grapplers (wrestling), gridders (football, I guess from gridiron), and hoopsters (basketball), but my favorite was keglers (bowling, but I always associated it with beer drinking). Anyway, your columns are always a pleasure to read, so keep up the story telling; grammar rules be damned - full speed ahead!
I thought keglers were people who did those exercises to build up their pelvic muscles. I stand (or in this case "sit") corrected. Elmore Leonard (more on him momentarily) believed that anything that distracted from the story--including goofy synonyms and proper grammar--should be eliminated.
Glad you enjoy what I'm doing and my next band just might be named The Night Keglers.
Sounds like someone who would open for Springsteen.
For me (and it sounds like you, too) MAD Magazine was incredibly important because while we were getting Sunday School lessons and stories about George Washington chopping down cherry trees crammed down our throats, it was the first publication by adults that said we grown-ups do some pretty goofy shit, too.
Mr. J, I don't give a $#!t if your writing is technically correct; you always entertain the heck out of me so go ahead and continue to vomit your stuff up (or out, if needs must).
A few quick thoughts about Sisyphus:
* He might not have been smart enough to stop pushing boulders up hills, but he evidently had enough sense that once they started rolling back down, he got the hell out of the way.
* It's a good thing for him he did not play baseball, else his teammates would of course had to call him Sissy.
A couple quick thoughts about the process of writing, something I have always enjoyed and seem to value more as I age:
* Hemingway may have been an asshole and I've never been a particular fan of his but he said something once that has always stuck with me: "Sometimes I write better than I can."
That has always been an encouragement for me and helped me believe in whatever limited talent I possess.
* I've never had anything one could call a style; I've always felt it was important to get thoughts out and down and then slap the words around to see what, if anything, came of them. I am my own editor, for better or worse.
One of my great joys in writing has been playing with words and I would rather write nothing than resort to cliche or drivel.
I vow to never resort to Artificial Intelligence and keep fingers crossed that I never have to.
* Re: inspiration, I was listening to a songwriter being asked where her ideas came from. She responded: "Everything in already out there in the universe. You just have to encounter it, adopt it, modify it and make it yours. You don't have to wait around to get struck by a thunderbolt before starting to write. Just get started and see what happens."
100% agree with that last bit: the difference between standup comedians and the rest of us is they pay attention and notice when something goofy happens, then offer their point of view.
We're surrounded by hundreds of good stories, we just have to pay attention and then start writing.
Best of luck with your writing; it sounds like you've got the right mindset,
Laughing out loud! It’s like you’re inviting us to correct your article! Lee, you are hilarious!
I worry about grammar if it is something taught in elementary school. The basics, like apostrophes. I am a proud member of the Apostrophe Protection Society. But whether or not to use single or double quotes for a word—not gonna worry. And I can never remember if you italicize or underline the play or book title or the magazine title, but not the article within…..arrgh, down that path be dragons.
I agree with your storytelling methodology. Kinda Elmore Leonard-esque. Or P.G. Wodehouse-y.
Mandy, I AM inviting people to correct my articles, but also warning them errors and grammatical mistakes don't bother me all that much and I may not change a thing. If the cost of writing exactly what and how I want to write is a few misplaced quotation marks, that's a good trade.
Pedantic people make good proof-readers, but often miss the forest because Donald Trump let some loggers cut it down. (Not 100% sure that's how that saying goes, but still think it's correct.)
And you just named two of my favorite writers so from here on in you can just call me Elmore Wodehouse.
If Springsteen can use "Speedball" I can use "Moundsman".....
Fair point, but then you'll both sound like dorks.
This…..is true….lol
On the upside, how many times have you been linked with Bruce Springsteen? If you're going to sound like a dork, Bruce would be a cool guy to do it with.
You know, Mr. Judge (may I call you "Mister"?), I tried to help, but no. You said you couldn't afford me.
Here's a FREE tip from a guy that wrote thousands of English columns for a Chinese newspaper and couldn't trust the copy editors: Read it aloud before you hit "Send."
For example, in this sentence: "once you start thinking about it this Rules of Grammar stuff, it never seems to end," you probably would have caught the extra "it" before "this Rules of Grammar stuff" if you'd read it aloud (and really READ it, not just pronounced what you THINK you wrote).
And using my not-yet-patented technique, you might have added "players" to "banjo" or changed it to "banjoists" or something in this one: "I’m not 100% sure accomplished banjo enjoy the sounds they’re making..."
Try it, and leave Ann with more time on her hand.
Anyway, I'm still available, and cheap. Or is it "cheaply"?
Thanks for pointing out the missing "player" after banjo, but I'm keeping the extra "it" And I appreciate the offer, but if you think at this late date in my career I'm going to pay someone to nag me I'm already married.
Dedicating myself to using “moundsman,” even to my certain ridicule.
Best of luck with that.
Your discussion of "moundsman" brought back half-century old memories of working on my HS newspaper). The guys who wrote the sports section were always working in odd synonyms to avoid being repetitious (even though, as you noted, no one would ever used the terms verbally), and moundsman was frequently used. Others I recall are netmen (tennis), grapplers (wrestling), gridders (football, I guess from gridiron), and hoopsters (basketball), but my favorite was keglers (bowling, but I always associated it with beer drinking). Anyway, your columns are always a pleasure to read, so keep up the story telling; grammar rules be damned - full speed ahead!
I thought keglers were people who did those exercises to build up their pelvic muscles. I stand (or in this case "sit") corrected. Elmore Leonard (more on him momentarily) believed that anything that distracted from the story--including goofy synonyms and proper grammar--should be eliminated.
Glad you enjoy what I'm doing and my next band just might be named The Night Keglers.
Sounds like someone who would open for Springsteen.
I've thought that "helluva" was a word ever since... I saw it in MAD Magazine. Like a zillion years ago.
For me (and it sounds like you, too) MAD Magazine was incredibly important because while we were getting Sunday School lessons and stories about George Washington chopping down cherry trees crammed down our throats, it was the first publication by adults that said we grown-ups do some pretty goofy shit, too.
No wonder my mom hated it.
Mr. J, I don't give a $#!t if your writing is technically correct; you always entertain the heck out of me so go ahead and continue to vomit your stuff up (or out, if needs must).
A few quick thoughts about Sisyphus:
* He might not have been smart enough to stop pushing boulders up hills, but he evidently had enough sense that once they started rolling back down, he got the hell out of the way.
* It's a good thing for him he did not play baseball, else his teammates would of course had to call him Sissy.
*******************************************************************************************************
A couple quick thoughts about the process of writing, something I have always enjoyed and seem to value more as I age:
* Hemingway may have been an asshole and I've never been a particular fan of his but he said something once that has always stuck with me: "Sometimes I write better than I can."
That has always been an encouragement for me and helped me believe in whatever limited talent I possess.
* I've never had anything one could call a style; I've always felt it was important to get thoughts out and down and then slap the words around to see what, if anything, came of them. I am my own editor, for better or worse.
One of my great joys in writing has been playing with words and I would rather write nothing than resort to cliche or drivel.
I vow to never resort to Artificial Intelligence and keep fingers crossed that I never have to.
* Re: inspiration, I was listening to a songwriter being asked where her ideas came from. She responded: "Everything in already out there in the universe. You just have to encounter it, adopt it, modify it and make it yours. You don't have to wait around to get struck by a thunderbolt before starting to write. Just get started and see what happens."
100% agree with that last bit: the difference between standup comedians and the rest of us is they pay attention and notice when something goofy happens, then offer their point of view.
We're surrounded by hundreds of good stories, we just have to pay attention and then start writing.
Best of luck with your writing; it sounds like you've got the right mindset,
"5 A.M. this morning" is repetitious. There. I saved your editor/reader the effort of making this correction.
It IS repetitious, but it's exactly how I'd say it if we were talking in a bar, so it stays.
Laughing out loud! It’s like you’re inviting us to correct your article! Lee, you are hilarious!
I worry about grammar if it is something taught in elementary school. The basics, like apostrophes. I am a proud member of the Apostrophe Protection Society. But whether or not to use single or double quotes for a word—not gonna worry. And I can never remember if you italicize or underline the play or book title or the magazine title, but not the article within…..arrgh, down that path be dragons.
I agree with your storytelling methodology. Kinda Elmore Leonard-esque. Or P.G. Wodehouse-y.
Mandy, I AM inviting people to correct my articles, but also warning them errors and grammatical mistakes don't bother me all that much and I may not change a thing. If the cost of writing exactly what and how I want to write is a few misplaced quotation marks, that's a good trade.
Pedantic people make good proof-readers, but often miss the forest because Donald Trump let some loggers cut it down. (Not 100% sure that's how that saying goes, but still think it's correct.)
And you just named two of my favorite writers so from here on in you can just call me Elmore Wodehouse.
Ha! Done. Mr. Wodehouse got me through that nasty evacuation.
Some of those Jeeves and Wooster books are 100 years old and still make me laugh.
🧵You’ve got a good voice!
I’m bumping you up in my rotation.
“You know, like N°1 on the speed dial?”
Thanks, I appreciate that.