The Democrats want to have a congressional committee look into the causes of the January 6th Capitol riot and ways to prevent another one and we need that congressional committee because we all know just how effective congressional committees can be.
Just in case you weren’t born yet or forgot or don’t like to think about it or a combination of all three…
In 1976 the House of Representatives set up the Select Committee on Assassination to investigate the murders of John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King and concluded that JFK was probably assassinated as the result of a conspiracy and that scientific evidence supported the theory that there were two gunmen and then after reaching those two conclusions, packed up their briefcases, turned out the lights and went home.
Whatever you think about Kennedy’s assassination and the subsequent investigations, does, “Oh, yeah…there were probably two shooters” seem like a logical stopping point?
But that’s a whole different can of worms and we already have enough worms on our plate, a disgusting mixed metaphor that I should probably apologize for, but considering some of the other offensive things I’ve recently said, really doesn’t seem all that bad.
Remember when I said Mickey Mouse divorced Minnie because she was fucking Goofy?
Which reminds me of an excellent piece of advice I once read or was told (at this point can’t remember which): whenever you’re accused of something, immediately admit to something worse because it will take people’s mind off your original infraction and if you stopped thinking about that plate of worms and started thinking about Mickey walking in on Minnie and Goofy and Mickey saying in that high voice, “Now just a darn minute” and Goofy saying, “Garsh, Mickey...my bad..h’yuck, yuck” then I think I’ve made my case.
Anyway…
Seems to me we already know how the riot started and how to prevent another one (don’t elect another demagogue) and the Democrats just want an excuse to get facetime on CNN and drag the Republicans through the mud which I resent because that’s my job.
Hey, I don’t go to Worshington (which is how my mom pronounces it along with the word “worshcloth”) and pass unenforceable Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Acts, so maybe Democratic congressmen and/or women ought to stay in their lane and get out of mine.
Trouble sleeping
According to the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine which sounds made up, but isn’t, 36% of adults worldwide have reported trouble sleeping during the pandemic and I’m right there with them.
On the other hand…
I also had trouble sleeping before the pandemic because when men get older their prostate gland swells up like an over-inflated Voit volleyball and puts pressure on their bladder and if an older man even looks at a glass of water before bedtime or has a dream about the ocean he feels the urge to urinate so we’re getting up three or four times a night even without the Bubonic Plague ringing our doorbell at 2AM.
Also:
Whenever you read a line like “36% of adults worldwide” it’s pretty much bullshit because you know they didn’t talk to every adult on the globe so they’re taking the people they did talk to and extrapolating that number and assuming the percentages would stay the same, which we (meaning the media) let them get away with because “36% worldwide” sounds more dramatic than: “We talked to 50 people and 18 of them said they had trouble sleeping.”
Nevertheless, the story about trouble sleeping made me think of someone who had no trouble sleeping and here’s the result…
Those last two cartoons make me want to complain about the Conservatives who complain that I draw about Trump too often, which I’m clearly going to keep doing until Republicans quit treating him like a Low-IQ Dalai Lama and asking Trump’s blessing to run for office or Trump disappears from Public Life which we all know he’s never going to do as long as he can draw breath and make up another lie about the election, so coming here and complaining about Trump cartoons is like going to a Chinese restaurant and complaining that they seem to serve an awful lot of Chinese food.
If what you really want is a burrito, go somewhere else.
The Republicans are the ones keeping Donald Trump relevant and then complain when people notice their obsequiousness, which is the first time I’ve ever used that word and I had to look it up to make sure I spelled it right, so I’m kinda pissed off about that as well.
Quit obsequing (the little-used verb form of the word and there’s a reason for that) and maybe Trump will drop off the radar, but until then he’s fair game.
A conservative friend of mine (and I’ve got a surprising number of them) complained about the “bullshit” I’m writing and I asked him who was making him read it. So I can only conclude that some people like to complain and I should probably avoid opening that can of worms because I’ve made a darn good living out of complaining for the last four decades.
Mask mandates and the Holocaust
Marjorie Taylor Greene, representing the 14th congressional district of Bizarro World, said mask mandates were “exactly” like the Holocaust, which led to the following cartoon:
And the following cartoon which points out the Democrats are grandstanding and the Republicans may have found someone a little too nuts for them, which is a pretty high bar to clear…
In my opinion Conservatives (and here comes another serving of General Tso’s chicken) are full of it when they stand up for an individual company’s right to flog their workers during coffee breaks because individual companies should have the right to set rules that work for them and then start whining when an individual company decides to require masks for customers.
An observant reader once said most of my cartoons were actually about hypocrisy and on a good day he’s right.
If someone says they believe in something and they’re consistent about it, a cartoon foothold might be hard to find, but if someone says Colin Kaepernick should be driven out of the NFL for having political opinions and then whines about the “cancel culture” you got a cartoon just begging to be drawn.
So I better get on that.
Have a nice Memorial Day weekend and take a minute to remember the people who made it possible for me to express my opinions and for you to disagree with them.