When catastrophe strikes, normal people show up with casseroles and blankets and bottles of water and ask what they can do to help and if there’s anything they can do to keep it from happening again and just in case you need reminding:
Politicians aren’t normal people.
Instead of doing something helpful, politicians immediately start covering their asses and issuing denials and blaming other people and if no people are available, they don’t mind blaming deities.
But let’s back up to where things started going wrong in Texas and you can do a lot worse than the Department of Government Efficiency (the group Elon Musk ran before he started programming Hitler-loving chatbots) firing government employees without knowing exactly what those employees did and then bragging about how many people they’d fired and waving around a chainsaw to celebrate.
As someone who’s not a fucking idiot pointed out:
If you really want to make government more efficient, first you’d actually spend more money because you’d have to do a study to figure out what programs and people you could live without and what programs and people to keep and DOGE didn’t bother to do any of that.
As a result, earlier this year the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association (NOAA) and National Weather Service (NWS) suffered job cuts carried out by DOGE which significantly raised vacancy rates at forecast offices. One of the people who took retirement (and DOGE was threatening people who didn’t) was the Warning Coordination Meteorologist at the National Weather Service office in Austin/San Antonio.
OK, so what’s a Warning Coordination Meteorologist do?
According to the internet:
A Warning Coordination Meteorologist (WCM) serves as the crucial link between a National Weather Service (NWS) office and the public, emergency managers, and media. They are responsible for disseminating weather warnings, coordinating public outreach, and ensuring effective communication during severe weather events. Their role is vital in mitigating the impact of hazardous weather by educating the public and preparing them for potential threats.
And according to Newsweek, a former NOAA administrator said some of the people in the path of the Texas floods didn’t receive urgent weather alerts because the WCM job in the Austin/San Antonio NWS office was still vacant which meant people in the path of the floods were SOL.
White House Press Spokesliar, Karoline Leavitt, said it wasn’t the Trump Administration’s fault for letting the DOGE idiots fire people indiscriminately, it was actually the Supreme Being’s and when she called the Texas floods “An act of God” she inspired the cartoon you just looked at, mostly because I thought she was just one letter off.
But let’s face it, if you want to give multimillionaires another $4.5 trillion in tax cuts, you’ve got to slash spending somewhere and in this case a bunch of people who had no clue what they were doing got rid of the wrong government employee.
If you want to read more about all this, here you go:
https://www.newsweek.com/doge-cuts-texas-floods-noaa-vacancy-2096151
In March of this year, the London Evening Standard (which raises the question: “What’s standard on a London evening?”) posted an article asking if Donald Trump’s short attention span was a sign of ADHD—Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder—and said while they didn’t have access to his medical records, Trump’s inability to complete a sentence or stop tweeting or watch a film without fast forwarding are typical ADHD symptoms and would explain all the plans he announces and then drops like:
Building a border wall
Taking over Gaza
Invading Greenland
Annexing Canada
Ending the Russian/Ukraine war
Turning the White House lawn into a Tesla dealership.
Timeout for Me to Agree With Donald Trump for the First and Possibly Last Time:
OK, so I’m working my way through the Standard London Evening article and the example they gave of Trump’s inability to sit through a film was Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Bloodsport which runs 92 minutes, but Trump asked one of his sons to fast forward so he got to watch all the fight scenes which made the film just 45 minutes long and here I kinda sorta have to agree with Trump because who watches a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie to see Jean-Claude act?
Trump has admitted to having a short attention span and he’s not alone (and we’re finally getting to the point of this section and my inability to stay on topic suggests I may have my own problems) because Elon Musk—who said he was through with politics because he was too busy ruining Twitter, blowing up rockets and making a mess of Tesla—has said he plans to start a Third Party and I just wanted to remind everybody we already have one.
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/us-politics/donald-trump-attention-sign-adhd-symptoms-b1218892.html
As previously stated on this blog, conspiracy theories continue to gain traction because some conspiracies theories are actually true and I’d add Jeffrey Epstein’s highly convenient suicide to the list.
First, we were told the guards were extremely busy playing an intense game of mahjong and the cameras weren’t working when Epstein mysteriously and conveniently croaked and now we’re being told the cameras were working, but according to Epstein’s brother the video provided has a one-minute gap and according to Google’s AI killer robot that sums up what’s on the internet, the recently discovered video has been “modified” by software.
If you’re looking for suspects…
I’m guessing people on both sides of the political grand canyon…
Were incredibly relieved when Epstein turned up dead because there’s nothing like booze, drugs and illicit sex to bring political enemies and dirtballs together.
True story: Not long after I moved to Kansas City I met someone who told me they’d been at a party where someone claimed to be me, which is fucking moronic because being me isn’t working out all that great for me, so I can’t imagine anyone else making it work for them. I mean, if you’re going to impersonate someone, shouldn’t it be someone better?
Which brings us to Marco Rubio.
According to CNN, someone used AI to impersonate Marco Rubio and my first thought was, “Who the fuck would want to be Marco Rubio…and that includes Marco Rubio” because from the outside it appears that Trump only made “Little Marco” Secretary of State so he could humiliate him.
Now here’s a story from The Daily Beast about Trump embarrassing “Little Marco” in front of a Cabinet Meeting by telling everyone that as president he can go into the State Department and take anything that strikes his fancy and in this case Trump took a grandfather clock from Rubio’s office.
The only surprising part about this Petty Power Play (which would be a great title for a Tom Petty Greatest Hits Album) is Trump didn’t tell Little Marco he also liked the pants Rubio was wearing so he should take them off and turn them over to Trump along with that grandfather clock and the chair Marco was sitting in.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-humiliates-little-marco-with-petty-power-play/
And here’s a story from the Miami Times (which sounds way more fun than a Standard London Evening) which describes Rubio as Trump’s lapdog which is probably accurate even though I depicted Marco as Trump’s lap puppet:
Today’s Lesson
If you ever criticized Donald Trump, don’t let him make you Secretary of State because he’s going to use the opportunity to humiliate you and make you give him the picture of your wife that’s on your desk and then use a Sharpie to write “HIT THAT!” across her face.
Also, if you watch a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, fast forward through the parts where he says words.
And whenever you get caught fucking up (and for most of us, that’s only a matter of time) make sure you claim it was an “Act of God” and if your spouse disagrees immediately accuse him or her of being an atheist which will keep them out of Heaven, although if all the people who tell everybody they’re definitely going to Heaven are actually right, it sounds like a really really boring way to spend Eternity.
Tomorrow: Back to baseball.
Gee, I thought I was already disillusioned enough . . .
Can we go back to the someone pretending to be you! Did you ever find out why someone was doing this? Did they want a better seat at the Royals games?