The Rich Man's Burden

As he’s already demonstrated on numerous occasions, Donald Trump is not exactly a Constitutional scholar and when he was asked if everyone in America deserved due process he said he didn’t know; he wasn’t a lawyer.

Well I’m not a lawyer either, but I do know because due process is pretty simple: due process is guaranteed by the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments (one applies to the federal government, the other to the states) and the amendments say the government can’t deprive a person of life, liberty or property without a hearing and the hearing has to be conducted by a neutral party.

And here’s another simple part of the Constitution—the emoluments clause.

Emoluments—admittedly a fancy-shmancy word used by pompous 18^th Century intellectuals—are salaries, fees or profits from employment or office and the emoluments clause prohibits federal officials from accepting gifts or payments from foreign governments.

If I’d been there in 1787 when it was written and they could have found a spare wig and some silk stockings to fit me, I could have really simplified things by calling it: the “DON’T TAKE BRIBES FROM OTHER COUNTRIES” clause.

Think about it because Donald Trump clearly hasn’t: why does Qatar want to give Donald Trump a $400 million airplane?

Maybe because they’ll go to the head of the line when they want something and what they want is going to be worth more than $400 million.

Also, if Qatar’s 747 becomes Air Force One they’ll have to pretty much dismantle it to make sure the Qataris (whom if I recall correctly were the bad guys in a Star Trek episode) didn’t include listening devices, but Trump’s so greedy he can’t see the problem even though Congressional Republicans and MAGA media stars like Laura Looney are calling it a “bribe” or “indefensible” or “a stain on the administration” which is really saying something because they’ve already left quite a few skid marks on the Constitution.

And now that I’ve stretched that metaphor to the breaking point…

One of the problems with being Really Really Rich is you begin to think the rules don’t apply to you, mostly because they don’t: you get a podiatrist to say you have bone spurs and avoid military service, you get contractors do work for you and then refuse to pay them and say sue me, you sexually assault women and brag about it and even if you get hauled into court and lose, you appeal and refuse to pay the judgment.

Here’s the latest story I could find on it and the short version is:

Two years after a jury awarded E. Jean Carroll $83 million for being defamed, Trump still hasn’t paid her and is appealing the decision and wants to use the Justice Department (a taxpayer-funded agency) to defend him, so he doesn’t want to pay for that either:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/e-jean-carroll-case-trump-justice-department/

So why would Trump suddenly think the rules apply to him because they haven’t before and Trump says turning down a free plane would be stupid (I’m guessing Judas Iscariot felt the same way about those 30 pieces of silver) and argued against paying for the airplane with some odd reasoning: “Anybody can do that.”

Here’s the part Trump left out, but is easy to deduce: “Hey, actually paying for shit is for the rest of you schmoes—I’m special.”

And we’ll have a lot more about the Really Really Rich before we’re through.

During a debate in 1992 George H.W. Bush (the first one) had to admit he didn’t know how much a gallon of milk costs, which was taken as a sign he was out of touch with the Average American and apparently I am too because I just realized I don’t know how much a gallon of milk costs either.

But ask me how much a bottle of Bulleit Bourbon costs and I’ll answer “$29. 99” which is a sign I’m not out of touch with the Average American Alcoholic (and probably need to be in rehab ASAP).

Personal problems aside…

On a regular basis long-time politicians prove they’ve got no clue how regular people live and Donald Trump did it again when he was asked about his tariffs making things more expensive and Trump replied that things might be more expensive, but Americans didn’t need 30 dolls, they could live with just three and didn’t need 250 pencils, they could squeak by with just five.

Which brings up a logical question:

Just who the fuck are the Americans buying 30 dolls at a time or purchasing 250 pencils in one go because I use pencils every damn day and maybe have a dozen. But when it comes to dolls I totally agree with Donald Trump, Americans don’t need 30 dolls:

They just need one.

As I recently pointed out to a friend in an email; the first step in having opinions and creating political cartoons is listening to what other people are saying and the cartoon you just looked at was inspired by someone saying we needed to reopen Alcatraz because we needed a place to put the worst people in America.

And this cartoon was inspired by a headline that said Trump had unveiled his budget cuts and my first thought was didn’t we already know where those cuts would be made?

Mahatma Gandhi said: “A nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members.”

And if Gandhi were alive today and came to America and saw how we treat our weakest members, he wouldn’t get a chance to say jackshit because Trump would have him deported to a prison in El Salvador.

As you might have already noticed, the only qualification currently needed to become a Trump Administration Cabinet member is a willingness to kiss Donald Trump’s ass, early and often which has allowed a record-setting number of nutjobs to be put in charge of running our government.

In a recent New York Times article, Joseph E. Uscinski—a University of Miami professor who studies conspiracy theories—said if some wingnut believes the Earth is flat, the correct response is: “So what?”

But elect that wingnut or make him Secretary of Health and Human Services and now you’ve got a problem because they can act on their whacked-out beliefs and harm other people which is why they’re now trying to take the fluoride out of drinking water.

All of which gets us to RFK Jr. and the fact that he went swimming in Washington, D.C.’s Rock Creek which has been closed to swimmers because it contains sewage and not being satisfied to risk his own health with bizarre behavior, he took his grandkids swimming with him.

I was thinking that risking his grandkids’ health was pretty bad and then I remembered he was going to risk the dental health of every child in the nation by removing fluoride from drinking water and if you’re wondering what’s the deal with fluoride, how about listening to people who actually have medical degrees?

Here’s an article from Johns Hopkins about why we put fluoride in our drinking water:

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2024/why-is-fluoride-in-our-water

Just in case you didn’t read it: researchers noticed that people got fewer cavities in areas that naturally had fluoride in the water and while too much fluoride can erode tooth enamel, small amounts of fluoride prevents cavities.

Thank God We’re Not Really Really Rich

First off: rich is a relative term and someone who has no access to clean drinking water or a safe place to sleep at night would consider me (and probably you) as fabulously wealthy, so let’s acknowledge that, but then move on to the Really Really Rich multi-billionaires who are rich by anyone’s standards and currently seem to be running and ruining things because they still don’t think they’re rich enough.

After watching the documentary The Queen of Versailles – about a billionaire’s quest to build the largest home in America – one my sons said that Really Really Rich people: “have no swag.”

The Really Really Rich don’t know what’s cool or how to behave and fill their mansions with shitty portraits of themselves as Vikings and imitation thrones to sit on and if you watch Elon Musk or Donald Trump for 30 minutes you’re going to think my son is on to something.

Think about it: Jeff Bezos is a dork, Richard Branson is a dork, Mark Zuckerberg is a dork and my theory about this Rich/Dork combination is the Really Really Rich get away with acting like assholes and nobody calls them on their bullshit, so Donald Trump thinks he can dance and Elon Musk thinks waving around a chainsaw is hilarious, mostly because their hand-picked collection of ass-kissers are telling Trump he can dance and guffawing at Elon fourth-grade humor.

While looking for this video I saw another one in which Trump had YMCA played at an investment forum in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, so in a country in which homosexuality can be punished with flogging, imprisonment and the death penalty, Trump played a gay anthem, probably because he doesn’t know it’s a gay anthem or what the Saudis think of homosexuals.

Yet another example of a Rich Dude being clueless because nobody would tell Trump playing YMCA in Saudi Arabia is a bad idea; play It’s Raining Men instead.

And here’s an article from the Financial Times that asks why Jeff Bezos is such a terrible dresser and the answer seems to be he’s a Rich Geek trying to impress people and has no idea how to do that:

https://www.ft.com/content/a6ce9a0b-d09a-4881-a712-4151465b3b78

When the rest of us act like assholes (and I’ve got quite a bit of experience in this category) the expression on people’s faces and the lack of laughter tells us we should stop doing whatever we just did or change outfits and eventually social friction smooths out our rough spots, but only if you experience social friction and pay attention.

If you don’t experience social friction and pay attention you just keep being the same asshole you were in high school and I feel confident that today I’m a very different asshole than the one I was in high school, which, while disappointing, still qualifies as progress.

Today’s Lesson

You only need one doll, but you should buy some needles to stick in it, if given the opportunity we’d definitely deport Gandhi and be thankful you’re not Really Really Rich because apparently you can’t be Really Really Rich and hip at the same time.

Now go forth and be cool.

http://kingfeatures.com/comics/editorial-cartoons-a-z/