Two Wild and Crazy Guys
One of my all-time favorite TV shows from the 1970s was The Rockford Files because I thought the writing was great and James Garner was hilarious and my favorite episodes featured his “best friend” Angel Martin (played by Stuart Margolin) and I enjoyed those episodes mainly because Angel was the World’s Worst Person. Angel would get both of them in trouble with brilliant schemes like pretending to be a hit man, taking the client’s money and then not killing anyone, because what was the client going to do about it, go to the cops?
After Jimmy heard this brilliant money-making plan he pointed out that the people Angel cheated were the kind of people who had other people killed and maybe they’d do the same for Angel.
Angel admitted his plan had some flaws.
Anyway…
In one episode a Bad Guy has both of them and is about to make them wear cement overcoats and sleep with the fishes for some fucked-up thing that was Angel’s fault, but Angel suggests that the bad guy should just kill Jimmy and leave him alive so he could offer up testimonials about the Bad Guy’s seriousness when it came to bumping people off.
At that point, the Bad Guy—who clearly doesn’t mind killing people—turns to Jim Rockford and says:
“How can you stand this guy?”
We definitely took the long road to get here, but that’s exactly my question for the people who support Donald Trump:
“How can you stand this guy?”
The Two Amigos
Let’s start kind of sort of at the beginning and talk about Donald Trump’s friendship with Jeffrey Epstein who Donald described as a terrific guy and a lot of fun to be with.
So what kind of fun things did these Two Amigos get up to?
According to a recent article on CNN, in 2019 the New York Times published an article that said in 1992 Mar-a-Lago hosted a “calendar girl” competition in which a couple dozen women were flown in and the only guests present were fun guys Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein.
The event was organized by a Florida businessman—George Houraney—and according to the internet (I surf the web so you can stay dry on shore) the ironically named Houraney was an event organizer for Trump’s casinos.
When the story was published in 2019 Trump’s White House didn’t comment.
Trump and Epstein were pals in the 1980s and flew on each other’s jets which in 2024 didn’t stop Trump from claiming on social media “I was never on Epstein’s Plane” when flight logs already showed he’d flown on Epstein’s Plane seven times.
Trump also claimed he “didn’t know Prince Andrew” despite photos showing them together.
And now the Wall Street Journal—that Liberal Commie Rag—has a story about an album put together for a Jeffrey Epstein birthday and the album’s got letters from friends and future co-defendants and one’s supposedly from Trump and it says: “Happy Birthday—and may every day be another wonderful secret” and it includes a lewd outline of a naked woman.
Trump says it’s a fake and the guy who was surprised at the beautiful English of Liberia’s president (Trump didn’t know they speak English there which you’d think might come up if you were prepping Trump for a meeting) added:
“I never wrote a picture in my life.”
Me neither.
Turns out, Trump has actually “written” pictures before—the Manhattan skyline, the Empire State building and various “doodles”—which were sold at auctions and I can’t thank CNN enough for drawing their article.
And according to that well-drawn article, Epstein’s address book had 14 numbers for Trump, Melania and Trump’s staff and in 2005 two written messages about phone calls from Trump showed up in a search of Epstein’s mansion.
Elon Musk (another guy who doesn’t mind lying so now’s a good time to take your daily grain of salt) said Trump’s in the Epstein files and that’s why they haven’t been released and when Trump was asked if Attorney General Pam Bondi had told him he was in the files, Trump ducked the question.
According to the article, Trump’s falling out with Epstein came after Epstein was hitting on an underage girl at Mar-a-Lago and people who weren’t pedophiles started to notice and asked Trump what’s up with your fucked-up buddy and it sounds like Trump cut Epstein loose because he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants while visiting Mar-a-Lago.
Reading between the lines it looks something like this:
“Hey, it’s one thing to be a pedophile on your private island, but knock that shit off in my country club because people are talking.”
Here’s the article if you want to read it yourself:
https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/19/politics/epstein-trump-ties-analysis
(According to Time, the Trump/Epstein relationship blew up over a real estate deal, so take your pick.)
Trump Turns On His Followers…And Not In a Good Way
So the MAGA Republicans were all excited about the Epstein files and what was in them because they were pretty sure it would include Democratic Dirtballs like Bill Clinton, but didn’t appreciate where following that trail would lead and the answer is right back to their hero, Donald Chump.
(Wow, how the hell have I not stumbled across that pun before now? And right after I drew that pun I wrote this cartoon.)
Trump’s big on conspiracy theories and despite the odds that this one would lead right back to him (as you may have noticed, Trump’s not a long-term thinker) so as a candidate Trump helped fuel the Epstein Conspiracy Theories and said once he was president he’d release more Epstein file documents, but now that he is president he’s saying there are no more documents to be released and the controversy’s over and everyone should forget about it and go home and watch reruns of The Apprentice.
Always reluctant to tell one lie when he can think of two, Trump has also said the documents were forged by Democrats, so take your choice:
1. The documents don’t exist.
2. And they’re fakes.
So Trump was telling his followers to cool it and they aren’t listening, so he attacked them and called them “weaklings” for falling for “bullshit” which is kind of ironic because those are the qualities that made them Trump followers in the first place.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-maga-jeffrey-epstein-files-rcna219073
Bottom Line
For a New York Minute let’s throw politics out the window and stop thinking about taxes or what we should do in Ukraine or whether posting the 10 Commandments in the McDonald’s drive thru is a good idea and start thinking about Donald Trump the person.
We know he’ll lie, not pay his bills, break promises, assault women, discuss the circumstances that would allow him to date his daughter, avoid the draft, spread rumors about people, insult military veterans, stab former associates in the back, ruin people’s careers to get some petty revenge and turn on the people who put him in power.
Like I asked Trump supporters at the beginning:
“How can you stand this guy?”
One of the biggest mysteries of my life is how the MAGA 'like this guy'. And continues to do so after every evil command. Like Jess Piper, who I follow, his MAGA idiots will fall right back in line over time after more BS by the Chump. They'll never admit that they were duped.
Jimmy Rockford may have looked like a chump for putting up with Angel Martin despite the latter's loony antics, but the big difference between Jimmy and Donald Chump is that Jimmy was a true Angel at heart while Donald J. Chump is the devil incarnate.
Epstein makes an atheist like me want to believe in god for no other reason than that there is some power somewhere who can make that remorseless pedophile fry in eternity for his sins.