The Kansas City Star recently ran a story with a headline that said scientists had found a possible cause of morning sickness and I can’t tell you a whole lot more about that because I immediately quit reading the article and started drawing the cartoon you just looked at.
Wait…I just finished a sentence with a preposition which is frowned upon by people with a grammar stick up their butts, so now I’ll finish a sentence with a proposition:
“Why don’t you pull that stick out of your butt and quit worrying about the correct usage of prepositions and if pulling the stick out of your butt makes it hurt, why don’t you apply some Preposition H?”
(OK, that might have been way too much work for a sophomoric Preposition H joke, but as Alexander the Great once probably said: “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing, so let’s invade India.”)
As for “THE NEWS” making you feel sick:
At the time I’m writing this the presidential front runner in the Republican Party is facing four criminal trials, the Democratic incumbent isn’t 100% positive what month it is, climate change is busy making much of the world unlivable, we’re finding out self-driving cars aren’t really self-driving, facial recognition is misidentifying shoplifters so innocent people are being harassed and fighting continues in Ukraine, Gaza and the U.S. House of Representatives which went Home for the Holidays without accomplishing much of anything because they’re too busy conducting feuds and competing in Olympic-Level Backstabbing.
And after that last paragraph I’m feeling a little nauseous myself.
Anytime I hear someone who’s a Whiter Shade of Pale (I’m Irish and generally speaking we’re so White the next step on the human color chart is “Clear”) complain about border security I always think American Indians probably agree with them.
After all, the Wampanoag Nation’s loose immigration policies allowed a bunch of Pilgrims to move in and ruin the Plymouth Rock Estates property values.
Note of possible disinterest: I’ve been to see Plymouth Rock and it’s pretty underwhelming so I can imagine some Pilgrim’s spouse asking if she’d endured 66 days of seasickness and bad food to reach a rock pretty much identical to the rocks they left back home.
(BTW: Pilgrims and Puritans aren’t quite the same thing and a minimal amount of internet research reveals the Pilgrims didn’t want to be part of the Church of England and Puritans wanted to “purify” the Church from within, but the distinction was totally lost on the local natives who called both groups “Those Dipshits Who Think a Hat Needs A Buckle” and now you get to guess which part of that I made up, which may or may not be another one of Those Pesky Prepositions that I seem prone to.)
Anyway…
Puritans believed adulterers should wear a scarlet letter so every man in the village knew who the “fun girls” were (and I really wish we had the same time-saving system in high school because back then you had to take a girl to the Se Rancho Drive-In to find one that would fool around) and if a woman could do long division she should be burned at the stake and Puritans also felt you should constantly be anxious and worried and looking for signs of God being pissed off or happy and you definitely shouldn’t end a sentence with the word “at” and if you did they’d use a hot awl to burn a hole in your tongue.
Also (and unlike parts of the previous paragraph, I didn’t make any of this up, although that hot-awl-tongue-deal is 100% real) the Europeans brought new diseases to the Indians which wiped out a lot of them and the Pilgrims’ belief that they were BFFs with God is how we started thinking America was God’s Country and anything we choose to do – like taking your land while simultaneously giving you smallpox – is Manifest Destiny.
If you want to read more about what a bunch of dicks the Pilgrims were, here you go:
The Pilgrims’ arrival definitely screwed up the neighborhood, but there’s a lot of evidence that American Indian tribes were pretty busy killing each other long before the Europeans showed up, so the Hollywood image of the “peaceful” natives doing nothing more aggressive than playing full-contact lacrosse is also bullshit and here’s an article about that:
The “531 years” refers to 1492 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue and landed in the Bahamas and met some Indians and on his first day in the New World Columbus thanked the natives that welcomed him by ordering six of them to be seized because he thought they would make good servants.
Man, how did they not see us coming?
https://www.history.com/news/columbus-day-controversy
Unfortunately, I have no good solution concerning our borders and immigration, but still thought it worthwhile to remind people that Americans of European descent complaining about immigrants ruining the country is a bit rich, when better border security would have kept our disease-ridden asses off the continent.
The Colorado Supreme Court barred Donald Trump from the state’s ballot under Section 3 of the 14th Amendment which says anyone who swore an oath to support the Constitution and then engaged in insurrection against it should not be allowed to hold elected federal office.
Which seems pretty straightforward, but…
Trump’s lawyers have argued that Section 3 of the 14th Amendment doesn’t apply to their client because the people who wrote it failed to specifically mention it also applied to the President of the United States.
Which is a legal argument we should all remember because next time I get a ticket for speeding I’m going to ask if the traffic laws specifically mention political cartoonists and if they don’t the laws clearly don’t apply to me, so by that same top-notch legal logic I can commit murder, embezzle funds, dine and dash, take the Lord’s name in vain or covet my neighbor’s ass when she wears yoga pants and suffer absolutely no legal consequences and depending on your job title, you could too.
For instance:
Do the 10 Commandments specifically mention dental hygienists and if they don’t why should dental hygienists think those Commandments apply to them?
If you want to understand the cartoon it’s also helpful to know that Section 8 was a category of military discharge used for service members who were considered mentally unfit for service and before they quit using it, Section 8s were given to cross-dressers, gay and bisexual people so the previously mentioned Alexander the Great – who pretty much conquered the Known World with less firepower than your average Neighborhood Survivalist – would have been considered unqualified to peel potatoes in the U.S. Army.
I’ve also heard it argued more than once that Donald Trump should not be barred from the Colorado ballot for insurrection because he hasn’t been charged, hasn’t had a trial and hasn’t been found guilty of insurrection, but it turns out insurrection charges are hardly ever filed because they’re so hard to prove.
But over 1,000 people have been charged with crimes for what they did on January 6th and hundreds and hundreds of them have been found guilty so it seems hard to imagine that the guy who urged those people to commit those crimes isn’t also guilty of something and two seconds of research reveals encouraging someone else to commit a crime is “incitement” or “solicitation” and depending on the circumstances can be prosecuted, although people seem afraid to take on Trump and his fanatical followers and the threats made against the Colorado Supreme Court Justices after they made their ruling might explain why:
https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/25/politics/colorado-supreme-court-threats-fbi-trump-ruling/index.html
In no particular order Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has said:
There’s no vaccine that’s safe and effective (he’s also denied saying that)…
He still believes the disproven theory that vaccines cause autism…
That COVID-19 could have been “ethnically targeted” to spare Ashkenazi Jews and Chinese people…
He wants to “reclaim” the Democratic party while aligning himself with Far Right Wingers and giving interviews to people like Alex Jones, Steve Bannon and Tucker Carlson…
And he wants to back the U.S. dollar with bitcoin and precious metals.
If you want to read more about RFK Jr.’s Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs beliefs, here you go:
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/debunking-some-of-rfk-jr-s-contradictory-statements
People on the right want RFK to run for president because they think he’ll take votes away from Joe Biden and help elect Donald Trump so think about that when you vote this November.
Members of the Kennedy family have denounced RFK Jr. and his beliefs and now that he’s publicizing his theories and we know some of what he thinks, RFK Jr. reminds me of a neighbor I used to wave at and then made the mistake of actually talking to and the neighbor immediately launched into some weird-ass story about how Black people used to go into downtown Kansas City once a week and push White people off the sidewalk.
Say what?
Emmett Till got abducted, tortured and lynched for allegedly whistling at a White woman and this guy thought Black people were getting away with physically assaulting White people on a weekly basis?
On what planet?
Sometimes you run smack dab into Full-Blown-Batshit-Crazy and you’re not going to talk those people out of their beliefs so the most you can do is make sure they don’t have access to sharp objects.
Or the White House.
It's too bad Ethel is 95 years old. Bobby Jr needs an ass beating like five minutes ago.
As to whether or not paragraph 3 of the 14th applies to the president, this pretty much clears that up.
https://youtu.be/A1Ze5qIYyuY?si=6-RbPwEhpxBp_SU2