The Secrets of Spring

Some spring training stories even non-baseball fans will like...

If you live long enough (and these days I’m playing with house money) you eventually realize that despite your youthful impression that an exception would be made in your case, you actually won’t live forever and if you want to do something maybe you should do it right now this minute because tomorrow never knows and yes, that was a Beatles reference.

My mom is going to be 99 this August so maybe I’ve got decades of whining and complaining left (apparently it’s a family tradition), but if my mom is any example, those last couple decades are going to suck. That being the case if I want to travel I should do it now and I started thinking about some of the people I’d like to see this summer and realized a bunch of them were going to be in the same place at the same time; Phoenix, Arizona.

Which is why I’m going to spring training next week.

Helpful hint: if you’re thinking of going to spring training some year and want to see several teams, go to Arizona instead of Florida because the teams are all clustered around the Phoenix area and in Florida they’re spread all over the state.

West Palm Beach (Nationals) is separated from Dunedin (Blue Jays) by a nearly four-hour drive and about a billion alligators; Surprise (Royals/Rangers) is separated from Tempe (Angels) by about 40 minutes and a whole bunch of AARP members who seem to be under the impression that golf carts are actually automobiles and can be driven in traffic.

In any case…

Going to spring training reminded me of some of my favorite spring training stories that help explain what goes on there and I told some of these stories when I first started this blog, but way back then I had about 19 readers so I’m going to tell them again just in case you weren’t one of those 19 readers and odds are you weren’t.

And we’ll start with…

Why Some Numbers Don’t Count

Fans who don’t understand what’s happening will get upset when some player is putting up great spring training numbers and doesn’t make the team and some other player is putting up lousy spring training numbers and is considered a lock.

For instance…

One spring Royals pitcher Bruce Chen was getting lit up like the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, but when I got to spring training Bruce told me he wasn’t throwing any sliders yet because they were hard on his elbow and once the regular season started, he’d throw a ton of them. Take out his off-speed pitches and Bruce was throwing batting practice to get his arm in shape.

Bruce didn’t care about his spring training numbers because he was going to make the team unless he got hit by a bus or one of those AARP members in a golf cart. Not every player is in that enviable position so they have to do their best every time they go on the field.

Guys who have made the team don’t have to put up great numbers; guys who are trying to make the team do.

Also…

Numbers at the end of spring training count more than numbers at the beginning because by the last week even veterans like Bruce will start throwing those sliders to see where they stand and get ready for Opening Day.

A Case of Showcasing

Can’t remember what player or position, but suddenly a guy who hadn’t played much (and here let’s go with “first base” because that’s what I think it was) started playing it all the time and fans were thinking maybe the team had changed its mind and maybe this guy was the new first baseman.

So I asked if that was the case and was told no, they were “showcasing” him.

They actually wanted to trade the player and were showing other teams he could play first base if they needed him to. Fans were worried about nothing; the guy was playing a lot because the team wanted to move him.

Changing the Scouting Report

The Royals ran some complicated trick base-running play that involved smoke bombs, a magician assistant, a flock of doves, a flyover by a B-1 Stealth Bomber and a rabbit coming out of a batting helmet, but it blew up and made the Royals look like clowns which might have worried Royals fans who watched that disaster.

But…

A coach told me not to worry because the Royals would never run that play during the regular season; they just wanted that base-running play in every other team’s scouting report. Knowing there are scouts from other teams at every game can be useful if you’re smart enough to feed those scouts bad information and give them one more thing to worry about.

Which reminds me, the Royals were working on a pickoff play while I watched, but after practice a coach approached me and asked me not to write about the play, which I agreed to because it wasn’t a huge deal and I wanted to be welcome to watch more practices. (Journalism 101: you sometimes trade a so-so story now to get a better story later and if you act like a dick about it and insist you have a right to publish that so-so story, people are going to quit talking to you.)

But Royals second baseman Chris Getz said if it was him he’d want me to write about it because then teams had to worry about that pickoff play and the Royals would stop more stolen bases if teams were cautious on the base paths than if the Royals used their Super-Secret Pickoff Play to get just one out.

Thinking like that is why Chris Getz (seen here wearing his dad’s suit) is now General Manager of the Chicago White Sox, but I’m unemployed and will have to buy a ticket if I want to see his team play next week. 

BTW: The smart players fans don’t like all that much because they don’t put up huge numbers are the same smart players who will wind up coaching, managing and running teams. So be careful who you boo; he might be your team’s future GM.

(Also, some of those fan favorites who do put up big numbers are boneheads.)

Tanking Against Divisional Opponents

In the month of April the Royals play the White Sox seven times and they’ve already seen them once in spring training, so when they see them again on March 21^st they might not want to show the Sox every trick they have up their sleeves.

If that’s the case it wouldn’t be unheard of to send the pitchers scheduled to throw that day to the back fields instead or have a pitcher limit the types of pitches he throws to the White Sox because why give them extra looks at that curveball?

Which means a pitcher can look awful against a divisional opponent in a spring training game, but turn into a spring training beast when he faces a team he won’t see that season and cuts loose with his best stuff.

Illogical Signings

Don’t be surprised if a team signs some semi-over-the-hill ballplayer and you’re thinking “Why do they need him, I thought they already had their third baseman” because sometimes teams sign a veteran player to stash at Triple A as a warning shot aimed at a current Big League player: you better lose that weight we talked about or start reading those scouting reports or listening to the coaches (or maybe all three) because now we have options.

Also, checking out minor league player stats is a popular activity among Big League players because if you’re sucking at the plate and a guy in Double A who plays the same position is tearing it up, you need to pick up the pace. But if none of the minor league third basemen are playing well, you’ve got some breathing room.

Spring Training Injuries

Back when teams paid players jack shit, those players might need off-season jobs to survive and might show up for spring training out of shape and need six weeks to get ready for Opening Day. But now players tend to stay in shape all year, so why is spring training still six weeks long?

Because teams need six weeks to sell tickets. 

Your favorite team hasn’t lost a game that matters yet so they can try to convince you this year is their year and you better buy those season tickets right now if you want a good seat.

Not needing six weeks of spring training to get in shape – especially if they played winter ball – some players will have annual spring training injuries (when I asked trainers about this they said soft-tissue injuries that can’t be X-rayed are popular) and then the players miraculously recover with a couple spring training weeks left, just in time to get ready for Opening Day.

So if your favorite player pulls a hamstring every spring, don’t sweat it.

The Opening Day Pitcher

Every spring some reporter will ask some manager who the Opening Day pitcher will be and every spring some manager will act like the reporter is a moron (and just maybe he is) and say, “Are you kidding me? It’s the first week of spring training.”

Now – as distasteful as we both find it – let’s do some arithmetic.

The Royals Home Opener is March 28^th (which is way too early, but they neglected to check with me first) and assuming the teams sticks with a 5-man starting rotation the Opening Day starting pitcher needs to throw five days before March 28^th.

And five days before that.

And five days before that.

And five days before that.

Teams act like they don’t know who the Opening Day pitcher is going to be because why announce it’s Joe Blow and then Joe gets hurt or arrested for (fill-in-the-blank with the stupid activity of your choice) and then you have to change Opening Day pitchers and look disorganized.

So don’t announce any of that and act like you’re still deciding who’s pitching on Opening Day even though you’ve known since mid-January.

The Need for Mentally Tough Number One Pitchers

You set your pitcher rotation and generally speaking your best pitcher throws on Opening Day which means he probably faces the other team’s best pitcher and that means your best pitcher can throw great and still lose because the other team’s best pitcher throws slightly better.

Until rainouts and off days throw things off track, your Number One Pitcher can match up against opponent’s Number One Pitchers and your guy can pitch his ass off and still start the season 1-3.

So you better know if your Number One guy can handle that mentally and if he can’t (mentally insecure rookies would be an example because you don’t want them losing confidence) you might start a veteran instead, which explains how Bruce Chen got an Opening Day assignment in 2012.

As Jason Kendall said at the time; no matter where you pitch him, Bruce is a veteran and will wind up 11 and 11 with a 4.50 ERA which is pretty close to where things actually finished that year (11-14, 5.07 ERA). Bruce Chen was taking the occasional ass-kicking to protect younger pitchers who maybe couldn’t handle that mentally and it went unappreciated by most of us.

Here’s an article I wrote about it at the time:

https://www.kansascity.com/sports/mlb/kansas-city-royals/article228649439.html

In Conclusion

My plan for next week is to wander around aimlessly, watching what interests me and writing about what might interest you, which – come to think of it – is also my plan for every week I’ve got left to live.

None of us know when the jig will be up and Elvis will leave the building, so if you’re thinking of going to spring training (or anything else on your Fuckit List) do it ASAP because like I said at the beginning of this, Tomorrow Never Knows.