Thanks tons for the Jimmy Carter and Mark Twain jokes. I really needed the belly laughs.
Because I love the Kinks - does that make me a perv?
Back before microwaves (yes, I'm that old) my Depression-raised mother saved the tin foil she used to wrap the oven-baked potatoes in.
I hope this doesn't sound crass or jaded, but while helping tend to my ALzheimer-affected father it occurred to me that a good thing about being such a caregiver meant I only had to remember one joke.
Glad you liked it. That Depression generation really knew how to save a buck. My mom still doesn't like spending money although at her age, I don't know what she's saving it for. Still, it's better than throwing everything in a landfill and buying new ones.
Yeah, living through the depression - my mom kept her used paper towels, hanging them over the sink to dry and then they were "perfectly good" to use again. We'll need to remember those "hacks" when President Felon gets done.
This is great material for a standup routine at the next AARP general convention - how's your delivery? The magazine is always giving tips on earning extra cash at side gigs....
The imagery that popped up for me wasn't "Parenthood". I have seen that scene, but not the whole movie. Nope. My mind went to Jason Statham in "Crank". She didn't finish. Instead she told him something about how he always falls asleep afterwards. In the movie he will die if his heart rate dropped.
When I was a kid we had a family friend named Shelley. She had 8 kids (as well as two babies that died). If you couldn't tell, she was Catholic. She had a kid every two years. Age wise, I was between the two oldest. Her husband kept going back and forth to Korea. Come to find out he had a Korean wife with 5 kids! He always creeped me out. The dude was an NCO. I have no clue how he could afford any of this. I know he didn't outrank my father, who was an E-7. Shelley lived in post housing, but still, that is a lot of mouths to feed. Dana, the child three down from me had down-syndrome and was born with holes in her heart. She was a sweetheart. Shelley was nice. Too bad her husband was a psycho.
I do think you have a future as a stand up comedian, seriously. But I also think it might be for the older crowd as the young kids will think this shit will never happen to them. And, scratching one's back with a drum stick isn't so bad considering I have observed a large serving spoon utilized in the same way.
Thanks, I'm glad you find me funny enough to do stand-up, but I don't think I can stay up late enough for that lifestyle. I'm pretty fun up until 9:30 PM, but that's it. And, yeah, when you're young can't imagine any of this happening to you.
Thanks tons for the Jimmy Carter and Mark Twain jokes. I really needed the belly laughs.
Because I love the Kinks - does that make me a perv?
Back before microwaves (yes, I'm that old) my Depression-raised mother saved the tin foil she used to wrap the oven-baked potatoes in.
I hope this doesn't sound crass or jaded, but while helping tend to my ALzheimer-affected father it occurred to me that a good thing about being such a caregiver meant I only had to remember one joke.
Your most amusing post yet.
Glad you liked it. That Depression generation really knew how to save a buck. My mom still doesn't like spending money although at her age, I don't know what she's saving it for. Still, it's better than throwing everything in a landfill and buying new ones.
Yeah, living through the depression - my mom kept her used paper towels, hanging them over the sink to dry and then they were "perfectly good" to use again. We'll need to remember those "hacks" when President Felon gets done.
As with most, I joined AARP for medicare Advantage benefits. Glad to read how mortifying it is to admit out loud membership in this club of ancients.
Agree - their continued barrage of emails very annoying.
Great read!😁
Thanks, Nicole. Yeah, hate to admit I'm that old and I'm in it for the same reason you are.
I’m 84 now, not a member of AARP, and am determined to outlive Donald Trump. Maybe he will just eat too many hamburgers and fries….
There are worse Life Goals.
This is great material for a standup routine at the next AARP general convention - how's your delivery? The magazine is always giving tips on earning extra cash at side gigs....
I'm great on stage. Off-stage I'm generally a disappointment.
I saved this to read later & laughed til I was coughing. Excellent!
I've heard of standing ovations, but this is my first coughing ovation, so thanks, I appreciate that.
The imagery that popped up for me wasn't "Parenthood". I have seen that scene, but not the whole movie. Nope. My mind went to Jason Statham in "Crank". She didn't finish. Instead she told him something about how he always falls asleep afterwards. In the movie he will die if his heart rate dropped.
Geez, now that you mention it, I regret not using that excuse.
When I was a kid we had a family friend named Shelley. She had 8 kids (as well as two babies that died). If you couldn't tell, she was Catholic. She had a kid every two years. Age wise, I was between the two oldest. Her husband kept going back and forth to Korea. Come to find out he had a Korean wife with 5 kids! He always creeped me out. The dude was an NCO. I have no clue how he could afford any of this. I know he didn't outrank my father, who was an E-7. Shelley lived in post housing, but still, that is a lot of mouths to feed. Dana, the child three down from me had down-syndrome and was born with holes in her heart. She was a sweetheart. Shelley was nice. Too bad her husband was a psycho.
Finances aside, no idea how somebody handles two families. I've got my hands full with one.
I do think you have a future as a stand up comedian, seriously. But I also think it might be for the older crowd as the young kids will think this shit will never happen to them. And, scratching one's back with a drum stick isn't so bad considering I have observed a large serving spoon utilized in the same way.
Thanks, I'm glad you find me funny enough to do stand-up, but I don't think I can stay up late enough for that lifestyle. I'm pretty fun up until 9:30 PM, but that's it. And, yeah, when you're young can't imagine any of this happening to you.